Kaji’s voice changed. “A diversion.” He noted the book’s cover. “Still, an interesting choice.”
Ellina spun around. “Have there always been so many guards stationed outside your door?”
“They suspect me. Probably more so now that the princess is visiting me in my private chamber, delivering books.”
Ellina shot him a flat look, then told him what had happened in the kitchens. By the time she finished, Kaji had sobered. “His eyesight?”
“Gone,” Ellina said.
“But whywasthe servant down in the crypts? He is not truly one of our spies.” Kaji rubbed a palm over his chin. “This is cause for concern.”
“I agree. If Farah is hiding something…”
“That is not what I meant. It is concerning that conjurors are using their power against servants. It always starts with the lowest ranking among us, but who will be next? You need to be careful, Ellina, and I think—” He broke off. “Do I want to know what you are doing?”
Ellina had opened Kaji’s wardrobe and was rummaging through its contents. “I need your legion uniform.” When Kaji did not reply, she glanced over her shoulder. “We are about the same size.”
“Yes, but why—?”
“I need to get to the everpool without being seen. And this—” she pulled at her own clothing, the loose silk, billowing trousers practicallymadefor tripping “—is all wrong.”
Kaji’s disapproval was clear. “It will be dark soon. Did you, or did you not, just witness a conjuror blind a servant for breaking curfew?”
“Farah’s curfew does not apply to me.”
“You are a fool if you believe that.”
“I will not be caught.”
“Double the fool.”
Ellina held up a black shirt, then discarded it in the growing pile at her feet. “I learned something else in the kitchens. Farah has soldiers stationed in Abith. They will ambush the resistance when they pass through that city. Dourin cannot go that way.”
“If Dourin has not reached Abith already, one more night will make no difference. You could wait until morning to send your message.”
“This cannot wait.”
“Honestly Ellina, you should not be going at all.”
At last, Ellina found what she had been looking for. She pulled Kaji’s legion uniform from the back of his wardrobe and began undressing. Kaji turned dutifully away. “I thought we agreed,” he said with his back to her. “We will gather information as it comes to us, nudge events as we can, but we should not take unnecessary risks.”
“This risk is necessary.”
“If your mother was here—”
“If my mother was here, none of this would be happening,” Ellina interrupted. “But she is not here. She is gone.”
“And missed,” Kaji said gently.
Ellina slowed her buttoning. Her chest expanded: a breath full of words she did not know how to speak.
Ellina and her mother had never been close. They were too different. They even looked different. Rishiana was tall, regal, with moon-white hair and a proud, sharp face, while Ellina was small and lean, dark-haired, wiry. Ellina looked more like her eldest sister Miria, whose hair was also black. It was Farah who most closely resembled the queen.
And so it had surprised Ellina, how deeply the knife of her mother’s death seemed to reach. Ellina felt as ifshewas the one who had been stabbed, as if it was her blood pouring out onto the floor. Worse, she felt guilty that her grief was so unexpected. She and Rishiana might not have been close, but her mother was still her mother.
Ellina had mourned Rishiana, albeit in silence. This was very elven. Elves grieved by staying quiet, by not speaking of the dead. To discuss those lost was to tarnish the memory of their lives, it was said. To show outward grief was dishonorable. For an elf to mourn properly, she should think of death, and remember life, and move on.
How convenient for Farah, Ellina thought bitterly, that she did not have to feign her grief. How ironic, that the daughter who most closely resembled the mother had been the one to take her life.
