“When the hell did you become so normal?” I ask. “I don’t like it.”
“Ellis smacked it into me. A few smacks on the ass was all it took,” he says with a waggle of his eyebrows. “Maybe he can set even you straight.”
I grimace and go back to stacking my cases. Once I have an appropriate tower, I hurry out the door and see Tucker’s cleaners pulling in.
They give me a greeting and set to work.
After my car is packed, I realize that I didn’t actually pack any clothes or anything of importance.
“I need clothes,” I comment.
“I got bored of watching you pet every gun while you tucked them into their case, so I already got you shit. We’re working against the clock here, remember?”
I raise an eyebrow while wondering if this incompetent man has somehow been replaced with a competent one. “You… you touched my husband’s underwear.”
“Sure as fuck did. I touched yours too.”
“I don’t trust you.”
“Tough shit. How long do we need to stand here? We need to move,” he says.
“Fine, fine,” I growl as I grab Blow-Up Randy.
“Why the fuck are you taking your blow-up doll?”
“What if someone breaks in and pops him?”
“You think they’re going to break in and go, ‘Damn, they’re not here, I better shiv that sex doll,just in case.’”
“That’s what I was thinking too,” I say as I step out with Randy tucked under my arm and take one look at The Fence. “What if they go after The Fence?”
Tavish gasps. “We better take it with us. You think it’ll fit on the plane? Maybe you can ride on top of the plane and hold on to the chunk of wood while we fly across the country? If you fall off, just use it like a parachute; I’m sure you’ll both survive.”
“I will fuck you up. These men are professionals. They’re going to look for my weaknesses.”
“You think they’re going to call you up and be all, ‘Hey… we got your fence. Bring us two mil before the hour’s up or the fence is gonna get it. Every minute you’re late, a plank is going in the chipper.’”
“Did I ever tell you that you cause me physical and mental pain whenever I look at you?” I ask.
“Good.”
I glower at him. “Let’s go. I’m going to drive through the mall parking lot, and then down County Road 251 before catching the highway to make sure that asshole isn’t following us.”
“Got it,” he says. “You know, I wouldn’t even have to follow you if I just took your guns to my place.”
“Hell no.”
Tavish looks disapproving for some reason. “How can you be so problematic?”
“Just keep up.”
“Don’t worry, I’m good at riding asses.”
“Ellis is too sweet for you,” I decide. “Is he going with us?”
“For… for some reason. I really wish he’d just stay home, but we nearly got in a fight over it. He’s paranoid I’m going to get hurt, but even if I do… what exactly is he going to be able to do? I’ve tried teaching him how to use a gun, and he’s as good with a gun as you are at reading the room.”
“So he’s phenomenal, then?”
