“You’re gonna find out real soon,” I reply.
The woman doesn’t seem to care about the pure wariness that Jackson is exhibiting as she says, “Here are your safety goggles, helmets, and gloves. Please keep them on at all times. While we give you the room to yourselves, we do have cameras in each room and ask you to be careful not to swing anything at each other. You checked that you watched the safety video as well as read the rules in the email I sent, but would you like me to go over them again?”
“Not necessary. I did boththoroughly,” I say, and Jackson raises an eyebrow because he seems to think he knows me well enough to believe that I read none of the rules… which is likely—if not highly—possible.
“This will be your room here. Your forty-five minutes starts now! If you need anything, there’s a buzzer on the wall. Be safe and have fun.”
“Is it weird that I’m even more confused and terrified?” Jackson asks as he eyes the room like a chupacabra might be hiding inside.
“You should never be terrified with me around, babe. I gotchu.”
“Do you ever think you’re the reason I’m terrified?”
“Never would have thought that, honestly,” I say as I open the door and wave him inside.
He looks around at the walls spraypainted with different designs while rock music blasts around us. The tables set up in different areas have random things stacked on them like vases and an old printer. There’s a pile of plates and glasses in the corner that seems close to teetering.
But the truly important bit is the assortment of mostly blunt objects hanging on the wall, including a bat, a wooden stick, and a crowbar, among other things.
“What… is this?”
“A rage room. You get to break all of this stuff! Cassel was talking about it, and I knew we needed to try it. If we approve, we can bring Waylon here too!”
“So you just like…” Jackson looks around.
“Grab your weapon of choice,” I say, waving at them in my perfect rendition of a game show host.
“Oh, tough choice. Tough choice.”
“We have… The Bat of Bludgeoning—he’s thick and long and ready to fuck shit up; The Crowbar of Absolute Annihilation—she just saw her boyfriend cheat on her and she’s prepared to end the lives of those who have caused wrong in the world; The Racket of Reckoning—don’t let their shape fool you, they’ve already taken on sixty-nine people! And Dave—he just got turned around and ended up here.”
“Dave?” Jackson asks with a grin.
“I see you like the brutality of Dave.”
“Is Dave brutal? Dave looks like a stick that I could find in the backyard.”
“Dave is the most brutal of them all,” I inform him.
He holds out his hand. “Dave it is.”
“Dave, do me proud,” I say as I pass him over.
Jackson walks over to an old vase that has a few chips in it and appears to have been glued back together at least once.
“So now I just… I just hit this?”
“You hit it so fucking hard. You wrap your hands around Dave’s girth and then you swing, but you better make sure you have a good fucking grip on Dave since he likes it best when you squeeze, you hear me?”
“I’m growing increasingly uneasy about holding Dave.”
“And when you have a firm grip on his shaft, swing him, and make that vase your bitch. Dave likes to hear them cry.”
Jackson jokes, “Am I supposed to feel this uncomfortable while doing this?”
“It’s part of the charm.”
“I see,” he says as he shuffles over to the table the vase is on.
