“You shouldn’t have caved, then,” Jackson says, like he wants Waylon to take his friend over to some other family and pretend like they’re his!
I reach over and take Blow-Up Randy’s hand. “I just really don’t understand why you’d want to bring your friend over to Cassel’s. Jeremy would probably feed you squirrel, and Cassel would make you pet his keyboard.”
“And strangely it sounds more normal than whatever is going on here,” he mutters. “Can… can you please put Randy and Rhonda, wherever she is, away… until my friend goes home?” He eyes the blow-up doll like he could possibly have a problem with it.
“It’s not nice to suppress Randy. He is a free man, Waylon. One cannot tame this man.”
“We’ll put them away,” Jackson promises.
“What do you boys want to do for fun? We could have a pillow fight. Ooh, pin the tail on the donkey! What about bobbing for apples? Nothing says friendship like a tub full of each other’s spit as you go in, mouth open, for those apples.”
Waylon is weirdly staring at Jackson, like he might save him.
Jackson holds up his hands. “Don’t look at me. I can’t control him. I knew this from the moment I met him.”
“You could like… I don’t know… try? Ooh, I have an idea. Leland, what ifyoustay over at Henry’s?”
I gasp as I consider that idea. “How… tantalizing! I don’t want to ruin your sleepover, though, so I’ll ask him if I can stay Sunday night. Maybe he’ll even let me sleep between him and his wife.”
“Oh joy,” Waylon says. “Honestly, it would be cool if Cam and I just like… played video games… in my room. It’d besofun if we, you know… did that… all day.”
“Jackson… this poor soul doesn’t know what people do during sleepovers,” I announce.
“Do you?” Jackson asks.
“Umm…” I think about that for a bit. “I usually… you know…” I draw a finger over my throat, “the people I had sleepovers with when I was his age, but I’m sure this will be fine.”
“That’s not at all concerning,” Waylon says.
“It’s fine. I’m learning,” I assure him. “And I have the two best people to practice on.” I pat him and Jackson.
Waylon gives me a hopeful look. “Video games are so much fun. He doesn’t have a PlayStation 5ora Steam Deck, so he wants to check mine out. You guys even got me new games for them that he’s really into.”
Jackson gives him a pat on the back. “It’ll be alright.”
I make Blow-Up Randy also give Waylon a pat on the back. “Don’t be nervous. Just be happy you listened to my birds and bees scenario so you don’t have a kid too.”
Waylon sighs and heads off to the living room since it’s his turn to pick out a movie.
“You have him terrified,” Jackson says. “Just the way you like him.”
I grin, proud of my abilities. “Did you like the way I guilted him into staying here?”
“I sure did. I especially like how proud of yourself you were,” he says as I beam at him and have Blow-Up Randy pat back his neatly styled brown hair. He really shouldn’t look this put together this late in the day.
“Thank you.” I lean in and give him a peck on the lips, but before I can trot off, he pulls me back to him.
“Leland, repeat after me.”
“Ooh. Is this like foreplay?” I whisper in his ear.
“It is definitely not like foreplay. Do not do anything extreme, do you hear me?”
“I kind of hear you,” I admit. “Not super well, but a little. Like you know when you hear a cricket in the background? You know it’s there, you hear it, but you do your best not to listen to it?”
“That’s not how it’s supposed to work when it’s your husband.”
“Are you sure?”
