Asmodeus grabs me in a choke hold and proceeds to plaster the mask on my face. “Seeing you with that mask on makes me want to take your suit off. Or maybe everything makes me want to take your suit off.”
I push him out of the way. “So we are driving to this location, correct? In another car, correct?”
“Incorrect, they’re swinging by to pick us up. They’re here now,” Landon says as I hear someonelayon the horn. The neighbors have to be looking out and questioning what the fuck is going on while the horn continues to blare.
“Make them stop!” I demand.
“I learned from a very young age you can never make my mother do anything,” Landon says. “But we can make her get bored.” He reaches for a book like he’s planning on sitting down and reading while the horn blares. And I have the irritating suspicion that both are stubborn enough we’ll still be here this evening.
“No, let’s go,” I grumble, waving him toward the door. “Let’s get this over with.”
“I can’t wait,” Asmodeus says when we reach the SUV that we are all expected to cram into, which seems to be tradition. “Landon’s papa, do you have room for me on your lap again? Or… will that make you jealous, Ellison?”
“Weirdly, it won’t,” I say dryly.
“So weird,” Lex comments as he trails after us. Instead of going for a mask, he’s gone for a wig and is pulling off the long honey-brown curls with style.
“You will not subject an illusion to this,” Landon threatens. “Deus, tell us if he’s trying to break free by using an illusion.”
“You’re literally talkingtohis illusion,” Asmodeus says, destroying my plans in an instant.
Landon growls at my illusion and I wave it away before grudgingly following them out to the SUV. The hatch opens and I look in to where Brandon is cradling the older man, Baker. Landon and August climb into the back and then Landon pats the floor wildly, like he thinks both Lex and I will fit. Asmodeus is already up front, spooning Landon’s father.
What have I done to be subjected to this torture?
“There’s no room,” I declare.
“There’s plenty of room,” Landon says as he pats a four-inch space. I stare at the spot until Brandon reaches out andpullsme in and sets me on his other leg.
“See? Baker doesn’t mind sharing!”
“I sure don’t. My wife showed me the wonders of sharing. We like to share every Friday night, if you get what I’m saying,” Baker says as his eyebrows do some waggling. “If you’re interested, my wife would like to take a bite out of you… I might too.”
How? Why? Why must I suffer? “Oddly enough, I’m not interested, but thank you for thinking of me.”
Like why the fuck am I thanking him?
“When I pop my dentures out, that’s when the partyreallygets started,” Baker tells me.
I stare at Landon, who is loving every minute of this, and then Lex, who looks to have gone off to his happy place.
“Who is this? You never told me you had friends who are girls!” Brandon says, and it takes me far too long to realize he’s talking about Lex.
Landon glances at his brother. “Why yes, this is Princess Alexandria from the country of Blue Balls.”
“Oh wow! You’re like a real-life princess?”
“It’s me, Lex. And I don’t have blue balls, thank you very much.”
Brandon looks confused. “Lex, who?”
“Am I really not memorable at all?” Lex asks.
“Brandon, don’t forget you need to use sign language with Lex,” Landon helpfully states.
“OH! Right! The double penis guy!” he says as he mimes those shafts. It is uncomfortably close to my face seeing as I’m straddling his extremely muscular thigh. “I remember you! You just look so pretty with your hair like that!”
“Why didn’t you bring your girlfriend?” August asks once Brandon finally stops the dick miming.
