“He already hurts,” Ellison says, stunning me. “He can’t sleep. He’s driven to the edge by the hell he went through. I don’t know who the fuck you are or why you want him to hurt, but Asmodeus is a good person.”
“I’m not,” I choke out. “I’m not a good person.”
“You are,” Ellison retorts. “You are kind and caring and you fight to protect us, no matter what it could mean for you. Your past is going to haunt you until you die, but don’t ever believe you’re not a good person.”
“Shut up,” Henrik says, hitting Ellison with his gun.
“Don’t touch him,” I snarl.
“I don’t have to touch him to kill him,” Henrik snaps. “Stop looking at me with those fucking eyes!”
“Your sister speaks to me in my dreams,” I say, making Henrik hesitate. “She reminds me every single night that she’s dead because of me. But I wish I could tell her that I’m alive because of her. She was such a kind person. She was the first person who made me realize that even if they molded me into amonster, I could be so much more. She was the first person who showed me kindness. She was the first person to ask me how my day was. She was the first person whose touch was kind instead of painful.”
I drop to my knees in front of him. “I should tell you to kill me, and if that’s what you must do to let Ellison go, then do it. But she taught me to fight harder than anyone else did. She taught me how to fight for those I care about. The problem was… I fought for her too late. It took her dying to give me the strength to fight for her. When I woke up and found her body… something let loose inside of me. Feelings I’d been forced to lock away my entire life ripped through me. I’d been beaten, molded, manipulated into being the very best. Yet they told me again and again that I wasn’t good enough…
“That day, I proved I was better than they ever could be when I slaughtered every single person who stood before me. I didn’t do it for myself. I did it for her.”
Henrik is shaking harder. He has his hand against Ellison’s head, like he’s using Ellison to keep himself standing. “I’m going to kill you. I don’t give a shit what you say. I’m going to kill you. I’m going to make you hurt. I’m going to make you hurt for what you’ve done.”
“I won’t stop you,” I say as I look up and catch his eyes.
“Stop looking at me!” he sobs out. “Stop looking at me with her eyes!”
I refuse to look away from him. “I regret not saving her sooner. I fear that back then… I didn’t know how.”
“I don’t want to hear your fucking sob story!”
“I don’t blame you.”
He throws Ellison to the ground, and that voice deep in my mind tells me that I could kill him. It would be so easy to do. He’s emotionally unsteady; I could use that to my advantage.
But instead, I watch while he lifts the gun and points it at me.
“No! Please,” Ellison says. “He told you he didn’t kill her.”
Henrik grits his teeth and slowly lowers it. “Why couldn’t you save her?”
“Because she was too busy saving me.”
“Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!” He shakes his head.
“I’m sorry. I wish I could change things, but I can’t.”
He stares at me for a long moment before he turns his back on me, his shoulders slumping. “Don’t make me regret this. Don’t make me regret letting you go. I’m only doing it because I know it’s what Eve would have wanted.”
Henrik passes through the door, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
“Asmodeus, untie me,” Ellison says.
Slowly, I look up at him.
“Asmodeus, come on.”
I manage to crawl over to him and untie his arms, but that’s all the energy I can find. I drop down until my head hits the floor, yet gentle hands lift it up. He’s watching me with such forgiving eyes, but why? How can he forgive me? How can anyone?
“You can’t join your demons yet,” Ellison says.
“I got you hurt. I’m the reason you were targeted. He wanted to hurt me by hurting those closest to me.”
