“I… happened to… lose the map,” I admit.
“That’s what phones are for,” Landon says before staring at his lack of reception. “We are LOST. We are going to DIE.”
“We’re not going to die, the car is only four miles that way,” August says as he waves in its general direction.
“It’s that way.” Asmodeus points, and August hesitates as he realizes that he doesn’t actually know which direction the car is in. Why did we ever trust him to get us anywhere?
“I’m so sorry. I’ve gotten us lost,” August says. “It’s getting dark, so it’s no longer safe for us to travel. What if one of us slips and breaks a leg or something? I think we’re just… going to have to settle here for the night and find the camp in the morning.”
“August, hon, it’s okay. You’re amazing. Don’t let Ellison make you think you’re not,” Landon says.
I stare at him in disbelief. “What did I do?”
Landon’s obviously not done. “And even though Ellison is clearly in the wrong, honey, we’re not sleeping on theground. Deus can carry us one by one back to the car!”
“I’ll get a fire started,” Asmodeus says as he pulls an axe out of his backpack and slams it into a dead tree. Like a fucking full-grown, still-standing tree that I guess he’s going tocut downand chop into little pieces for firewood.
“What the hell are you doing?” I ask.
“Trees that are still alive will be too wet to burn and branches that are lying on the ground will have soaked up moisture, so we need dead and dried wood,” he explains as he begins chopping this way and that while we all stand there at a loss for words.
“We are not allowed to chop down trees in a state park,” I say. “It is illegal, Asmodeus!”
“Illegal, schmalegal,” Asmodeus replies between chops.
“I could like… snap some branches with my telekinesis so you don’t have to chop down anentiretree,” Landon says before remembering that he’s convinced death is upon him. “No! I willdieout here. DIE. We need to get back to civilization.”
“I once lived in the wilderness for forty-two days,” Asmodeus comments. “It was only supposed to be thirty, but they forgot I was out there.”
“They… who is they? Is this another weird fucking trial you went through in that cult you were raised in?” Landon asks.
Asmodeus just gives a “Ha!” and keeps chopping while we all stand there as he fells a tree. Literally drops it expertly between two other trees and starts chopping parts off it.
I turn to the others. “We can’t be too horribly far from the campsite, right? We’ll just…”
I stare into the wilderness, having absolutely no idea where we are as night descends upon us. This is not at all going as planned. I had maps and things set up and then… this is whathappens when I hand over the reins and allow someone else to take charge.
“I’m so sorry,” August says. As he should be.
“I’m sure it’s fine,” I force out. “We will make do.”
“I can see the headlines now,” Landon says as he waves his arms through the air. “Superheroes United taken down by the wilderness.”
“Yes, because there are things out here stronger than a telekinetic who can liftbuildings, an assassin, a fire starter, and a man who could freeze time while punching a bear into the next county,” I retort.
“You forgot yourself,” Asmodeus says as he begins stacking chunks of wood in the shape of a small teepee for a fire. “You could always use your illusions to fool the bear.”
“There are no bears,” I tell him.
“If there were, we wouldn’t have to worry about dinner,” he decides.
“Do you need kindling?” Lex asks. “We could use one of Landon’s books.”
“I will roast you alive if you touch one of my books,” Landon warns before he takes up a fighting stance, like he could possibly fool any of us into thinking he can fight.
“Nah, I already grabbed one,” Asmodeus says as the fire roars to life.
Landon lets out a screech and hurries over to his bag, but he must realize that Asmodeus was joking because he glowers at him. “Funny.”
