“Were you using your telekinesis to carry it? Is that why you’re so tired?” August asks.
“Maaaybe. Why are you guys being so judgy? I just want someone to carry my bag.”
August reaches for the zipper to reveal what’s inside but Landon throws his body over the bag.
“August, don’t! There are private things in there that no one else can see. They are all very private. August, stop!” Landon cries as August peels him off the bag and unzips it with his other hand. A mountain of books all wrapped in protective sleeves come sliding out of the bag.
“Landon, how many books did you bring?” August asks. “It’s only two nights!”
“You don’t understand. I’m well aware that I needed at least four books. But then I couldn’t decide which books to bring, and what if I’m in the mood for horror, but then what if when I get there my mood suddenly changes and I’m in the mood for sexy shit. And then what if it’s awkward to read erotica in front of others so I needed another book to read in front of everyone, so then I was thinking fantasy but did I want urban fantasy or high fantasy? And then I couldn’t decide which book that would be, so I just… brought them all. How can you not understand?”
“HowcouldI understand?” August asks. “Can you leave them here, and we’ll get them on the way back?”
Landon’s jaw practically comes unhinged when it drops open. His eyes are close to falling out of their sockets as his head turns at an abnormally slow speed to look at the man he once called his one true love. “Youheathen.”
“Because you don’t need thirty books for two days of camping? Why didn’t you just bring that Kindle? You could have put thirtythousandbooks in it.”
“Don’t disgust me, August. You know I have tosmellthe book. I have totouchthe book. I have tocaress—guys! Guys! Why are you leaving me? Help me, please!”
“He would not make it one day in the wild on his own,” Asmodeus determines.
“Deus, could you carry Landon just for a little bit? Just until his legs have a tiny rest. I’ll carry his… bag,” August says as he hefts the bag up. It’s a good thing he has super strength or I’m not sure he could have handled the weight of all of their suppliesandthe library Landon has packed.
Asmodeus goes over to Landon and squats down. Landon seems to think he’s being given a piggyback ride until Asmodeus slides his left arm through his legs and his right arm around his neck and stands up, leaving Landon in some strange horizontal position that looks horrifically uncomfortable as he lies against Asmodeus’s back just below his backpack.
“What is this position? I demand to be carried like a princess, thank you very much!”
“It’s so if I need to get rid of you quickly, I can drop you and you will be incapable of latching on to me,” Asmodeus explains.
I stand there and question life, my choices, and how I ended up here. None of it is very clear, yet I have no choice but to keep moving and pretending like any ounce of this is normal.
“If you are displeased, I can drag you or you can use your own legs.”
“I will happily suffer,” Landon decides, bouncing against Asmodeus’s ass with every step they take. His rifle smacks Landon every now and then too, but Landon acts like he doesn’t notice as he looks at August, and I watch the bag unzip just enough for him to use his telekinesis to slide a book over to him.
He seems delighted to be able to read while Asmodeus climbs a steep incline carrying Landon, his bag, and his two guns.It’s quite the impressive feat for a man that I don’t think has superhuman strength like August.
“Do you want me to carry your guns?” I ask Asmodeus.
He looks over at me and then eyes me up and down. “That’s rather promiscuous of you.”
My face scrunches up. “Is it? Do you know the definition of that word?”
His expression has turned pleased. “I like it.”
“You like what?” I ask in disbelief. “Forget I asked.”
“You could carry my book,” Landon offers. “I want you to hold it in front of my face and then flip the pages when I ask.”
I walk away from that mess.
“It’s just so pretty here,” Lex says.
“Isn’t it?” August asks.
“So pretty,” Landon agrees, face stuffed in a book while Asmodeus suffers. Of course Asmodeus doesn’t look like he’s suffering; I’m positive the man pretends everything is perfect at all points in time.
Asmodeus looks over at me. “Are you having fun, Ellison?”
