“Allow me,” I say as I lean forward and turn the back windshield wiper and sprayer on.
Landon cackles with glee when Brandon jerks back and sputters. “I remember now why I keep you around.”
“Thank you.”
“Shit, shit, shit,” August hisses, but Brandon just pops the hatch and clambers in.
“Strange… your hatch won’t close all the way; I’d definitely have that looked at. You know it’s unsafe to drive like that?”
“Can we go, please?” Ellison asks, so August begins to drive.
“Why did you jump behind the moving vehicle, Brandon?” Nolan asks.
“That’s a really good question that I don’t have a really good answer to.”
Landon turns back to look at Brandon. “How’d you find us, anyway?”
“Mom told me. She has a tracker on you.”
“She’s tracking my phone?” Landon asks in horror.
“I don’t know. Oh, is that where trackers go? Man… I thought she put one up your butt or something and I just thought that was a bit much, you know?”
“Why the fuck would our mother put a tracker up my ass, Brandon?” Landon asks.
Brandon must decide he’s not riding in the back because he starts climbing over the seats.
“There’s no room for you,” Nolan says as he tries to fight his brother, but he’s not strong enough to keep him away. “Stay back there.”
“It’s lonely back here,” he protests before falling onto his brother’s lap. Nolan curses when Brandon crushes his balls with his hand before flopping down onto Nolan and Lex.
“Whoops. Sorry, favorite brother,” he says.
“You don’t have to label him that!” Landon cries.
“It’s okay. You’re my third favorite brother,” Brandon says.
Landon gasps. “Do… do we have another brother I’m unaware of?”
“He’s counting himself,” Nolan explains. “He wants you aware that he loves me most, then himself, then you’re there in third place.”
“I see…” Landon says. “I let you crawl in naked with August and I’m still third?”
“Ooh, you’re right. August, you’re now third and Landon is fourth!”
“You are vicious. I like you,” I inform him.
“Thank you,” Brandon says. “You can be my brother too. You just have to like… marry Nolan or Landon or me…”
“He wouldn’t be your brother if he married you, Brandon,” Landon tells him.
“Good because no offense, but I don’t find men attractive. Is that offensive? Like… I guess I’ve never tried it but when I watched porn Landon had up on his computer when we were younger, I just didn’t get it,” Brandon says. “I’m sorry if that’s offensive. I like my girlfriend. She’s so nice and sweet and pretty and we’re going to Disney World! She told me to invite you guys, but I told her you guys would just do something weird.”
“We are not the weird ones!” Landon protests. “What does it take for you to understand that?”
“What about that yarn ball?” Brandon asks.
“You are the one who broke it! We fixed itforyou!”
