He scoots his chair back, grin coming on like a light bulb. “Thanks for the therapy,” he says, and stands up.
I snort. “You’re welcome.”
We pack up, and I follow him out, both of us still quiet. He disappears ahead of me into the halls, and something twinges in my chest; I don’t know why, but I was expecting him to say goodbye. But that’s something friends do, and we’re not. Even if we both have divorced parents.
On the train home, I get a text from Anna. She’d looked at me quizzically when I walked into fifth period after lunch, and I’d just shrugged at her.Forrest,I’d mouthed, and she’d nodded slowly. We didn’t get a chance to talk.
So ... how was lunch?Her message reads. And I don’t know why, but I’m a little annoyed. She knows I’ve been meeting with him for a while now; why is she asking?
Uneventful,I say back.We talked about what’s next for the exhibit.
We missed you,she says, and my chest warms. She’s just checking on me, and here I am being a jerk.
I missed you all too,I say.How was it?
It was fine,she says, and I know that’s Anna-speak for not-fine.
Annaaaaaaaa,I say.
It was fine!she replies.Really. It was just me and Makayla.
I stare down at the text. That’s weird. Volleyball is an after-school thing, which means Jayden must have been doing something else. But what?
That’s... different,I say.
Yeah :/,she says.Makayla didn’t know where he was either.
Even weirder. What if Jayden is getting into something ...bad? That wouldn’t make sense. But that’s how it starts sometimes, right? He could have tried something, maybe from one of the guys on the volleyball team. At a party, surrounded by them, and someone presses it into his hand. I don’t know what a drug looks like, but probably a pill. Small and white, easy to pop in your mouth, and now he’s pulling away from us. No Halloween. No lunchtimes. No Queer Alliance. He’ll fade like a ghost, dark circles under his eyes, avoiding us in the halls.Signs your friend is on drugs,I type into Google, and wait as the results populate. I’m being ridiculous, but Ineed to know. Just in case. If I know, then I can look for the signs. If I know, then I can stop Jayden before something really bad happens.
I look through article after article—“Warning Signs of Drug Abuse,” “7 Signs Your Friend Has a Drug Problem,” “Signs of Drug Use in Teens”—and catalog the answers in my head: physical appearance changes, cravings, poor judgment, risky behavior, strained relationships. That doesn’t sound like Jayden.
But what if it’s just starting, and the signs are more subtle, things I’m missing, things that wouldn’t be on any of these lists?
Someone settles into the seat next to me on the train, jarring me out of my thoughts. I stare at my face in the window, the darkness of the tunnel behind it as we rattle down the track. I feel afraid, afraid that everything is about to collapse, that I’ll lose Jayden forever, and what happens after that?
That’s not real. It’s not happening.
That’s not real. It’s not happening.
That’s not real. It’s not happening.
My phone vibrates again, but it’s a message from someone else. From Forrest.
My mom says I can host,he says.I was right, Dad’s gonna be on a business trip. Saturday?
That’s my study date with Jayden, but ...this is important too. And maybe Jayden will come, and so will Anna and Makayla, and everything will be normal. Because nothing is really wrong. My brain is just freaking out for no reason, like it always does. I can miss one study date. And if Jayden isusing drugs, then I can watch him, and see if he gives any of the signs, and I can check with Makayla and Anna after to see if they notice anything too.
Sounds good,I say to Forrest.
Hope you like big dogs,he says.
You have dogs?
Just one—Simba. He’s a pit bull mix.A picture pops up, of a golden dog, his muzzle gone white with age, mid-lick with his tongue over his nose.
OMG he’s SO CUTE,I say.We have two cats at home, English Breakfast and Earl Grey.
LMFAO that’s amazing,he says.You must really love tea.
