“That could be our group Halloween costume.” I plop down on the couch and glance at Jayden, who’s trying to do the worm on the carpet. “What do you think, Jayden?”
“About what?” he says, breathing hard as he rocks back and forth on his stomach.
“Halloween. Group costume. Coven of witches.”
“Oh!” He rolls over onto his back. “That could work. Witches are kind of ...basic though.”
“We could be creative witches,” Anna says, rummaging through the game cabinet. “Like a sea witch. I call that one. And a fire witch.”
“The witches of the four elements!” Makayla says.
“I don’t really want to be a witch,” Jayden says, pulling a face. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s OK!” Anna says quickly. “We could do something else.”
“I...” Jayden closes his eyes. “Idon’tthinkIwannadoagroupcostumethisyear,” he says really fast, then opens his eyes, looking at all of us, mouth stretched into a grimace.
Silence reigns, expanding like a too-big balloon in the space left by his words. I make eye contact with Anna, and she holds my gaze. A phrase flashes into my mind, a fragment of conversation from one of our study dates:Jayden has been ... evasive.
We’ve coordinated our costumes the past two years. I know logically it’s not that long a time, but it feels like longer. I got used to it. And now it’s not happening, I guess.
“Why not?” Anna asks. Her voice is mom-friend calm.
Jayden shrugs. “I just want to do my own thing this year.”
“OK,” she says. Her face is pleasantly neutral; she’s good at that face. It’s hard to tell what she’s really thinking sometimes. I don’t even really know how I feel either.
“Are you all mad at me?” Jayden asks.
“No!” Anna says, at the same time Makayla says, “Kind of?” They look at each other, and Anna gestures for Makayla to talk.
“I’m notmadmad,” Makayla says. “It’s just like ...two weeks out from Halloween, and we’ve done it the past few years, and you could have told us earlier.”
“I’m sorry,” Jayden says.
“It’s OK.”
Makayla looks at me and Anna. “The three of us can do something still.”
I nod, even though it feels weird to do it without Jayden. “We can text about it.”
“Perfect,” Anna says, and she sounds relieved. “Betrayal?”
“Fuck yeah!” Jayden claps his hands and sits upright, and we all gather around the coffee table to set up the game. AsAnna passes me one of the character figurines, she catches my eye, and this time, I can read what she’s asking without a word. I smile back, reassuring her that we’re good, all of us, our whole little group. I know she doesn’t like conflict. She wants everything to be all right, and it sounds like Makayla’s basically fine.
So I am too.
I sleep late on Sunday, and wake up to my phone buzzing with texts. There’s a new group chat—me, Makayla, and Anna, and from the look of it, they’ve been sending costume ideas back and forth for at least an hour. The thread is full of pictures and categories: big cats, book and anime characters, houseplants, fruits, and, of course, witches.
If we do houseplants I get to be a cactus,I text them.
Of course,Makayla says.
Houseplants feel like a lot of work,Anna says.
Makayla laugh reacts.That was YOUR idea.
I don’t know what I was thinking,Anna says.
