“You don’t need to say anything. This is already the most you’ve ever said to me that wasn’t criticism.”
“Might be the most I’ve ever said to anyone here.”
She giggled.
It was a nice sound. In terms of all the giggles I’ve heard, it was a good one.
What type of thought was that?
Shaking my head, I sidestepped her and tapped the drawing I’d marked up. “Stop worrying about the meeting. Focus on improving. You can’t change the mistakes you’ve made, but you can avoid making them again.”
A soft breath whooshed out of her, and for the first time since Elizabeth showed up, my office was silent.
I glanced upward. Elizabeth was frozen in thought. Before I could say anything, my phone buzzed against the desk, and the screen lit up with a message from Claire:Come outside. It’ll take five minutes.
“Be right back,” I said, without looking at Elizabeth. I couldn’t risk her trapping me with one of her all-powerful gazes or her words that left me tongue-tied.
I hurried downstairs to meet my best friend. The one I was going to kill.
Cleverly, Claire arrived with defense in the form of caffeine and sustenance. She held up a brown paper bag and a coffee cup, scrunching up her nose. “I’m sorry for abandoning you last week. Was game night without me really so bad that you had to skip this week and avoid me?”
“I wasn’t avoiding you. I was busy. I’m drowning with these new tasks.” I grabbed the coffee and took a swig. Cream, sugar. She knew exactly how I liked it. “Management is awful.”
We walked a few steps away from my office and sat on either end of a nearby bench with the food between us.
“Wanna talk about it?” she asked.
“Nothing much to say. It’s just a lot. I’m struggling to keep up. I’m not sleeping enough. Haven’t helped my mom pack. Couldn’t make it to game night.” I looked skyward, thinking of a topic change. “Why’d you miss last week, anyway?”
“Dean and I had a spontaneous date night.” Her cheeks flushed, and I was glad to see it. She opened the paper bag. “Peace offering?”
I salivated at the scent of a freshly baked feta and spinach muffin. “Things are… better?”
“Much.” Her little smile widened. “Who would have thought taking fewer shifts at the hospital and starting therapy would do wonders for a marriage?”
Seeing her happy again lifted the weight on my shoulders ever so slightly. It didn’t even matter that I was mad at her.
“So,” she said, running a hand through her auburn hair, “are you still angry at me for telling them about Lily?”
“A little. This is helping.” I held up the coffee and muffin.
“Let me explain.”
Leaning back, I gestured for her to continue.
“I know how you are.” She smiled but shook her head. “You hide your feelings until you’re so far gone, you can’t come back. And I think you care about Lily way more than you let on. I think there’s a chance you’ve created this perfect idea of her, and it’s the reason you’re not hooking up with anyone in real life.”
The air was knocked right out of me. “That’s… not entirely true.”
But it was a little true. Yes, I was consumed by Lily, but that wasn’t the only reason I wasn’t dating anyone. The truth was more complicated than that.
I felt nothing for anyone else. And I’d tried. And failed. And it was awful and uncomfortable, and I had no desire to do it again.
Something was obviously wrong with me.
Claire’s brows hugged as she stared out into the distance. “I want to know who she is and whether she has the power to hurt you. Because if she does, I’ll have to learn how to fight. Lincoln, do you know how hard that’ll be for me?”
I chuckled, but a tightness spread through my chest at the mere thought of Lily hurting me. There was only one way to prevent that. “You don’t have to worry. I have a plan.”
