With my decision made, I continued pounding away on the keys. It would be nice to have an answer, even if it didn’t matter anymore.
Footsteps sounded from behind me, outside my room.
Was Elizabeth awake? Was she walking toward me?
The soft padding of her steps moved past my bedroom. My heart dipped. Bathroom trip, perhaps.
I stood, wanting to check on her. But the sound of the back door cracking open had me freezing. Her footsteps were clear now. The wood of the patio deck creaked right outside the window.
“Mom,” she said in the quietest voice, “I’m so glad you called.”
In the still of the night, it felt as though I could hear my own heart beating.
“I’m not in trouble,” she said, her movement still creaking along the wood. Farther away, then near again. “I…” She paused. “I’m going through something, and I need someone to talk to… Gran’s awesome, but she’s so chaotic.” She laughed, but it wasn’t a full one. Something was missing. “I miss talking to you. I miss you. When will I see you again?”
Her voice was so meek, so unlike the feisty woman I now knew I loved.
This was private. I reached out for the window and paused. If I closed it now, she’d notice and maybe feel even more uncomfortable knowing I’d heard some of it. I paced away from the window, but her voice still carried through.
“I could come up to LA, if you could sneak away for a little bit,” she said, her voice turning upward at the end.
The hurt in her tone drew me closer. I knew very little about her relationship with her mom and stepdad.
“It’s okay. Sure, yeah. I understand,” she said. “I know he’s mad. I saw the article.”
That article.
“I know you asked me to trust you and I do, but I don’t understand why you’re still with him. You don’t need anything from him. Just leave him and come to me. Or go to Gran. If I get this job, I could move into a bigger place.”
Alarms went off in my head.
“I know it’s not that easy. It wasn’t easy for me either. The last few years have been awful but it’s better than the hell he put us through.” She stopped pacing. “Trust me, Mom. Please.”
The wood creaked under her weight again before she spoke. “I trust you, I do. But it’s been years.” A mirthless laugh escaped her.
I never wanted to hear it again. I couldn’t eavesdrop any longer. I made my way over to my bedroom door, unsure of what I’d be doing, but knowing I’d be doing something. My need to defend her, to protect her, ate me up inside.
When I got to the door, I heard her say in the smallest voice, “Thank you. It’s been an eventful birthday for sure.”
I sucked in a quick breath.
It was her birthday today? If I’d known, I’d have done more. I’d have baked a cake. Invited her out earlier. I’d have done something, anything.
The hurt in her voice left thousands of tiny cuts across my heart.
“I know it’s not easy for you.” She stopped walking, and for some reason, so did I.
My feet were planted as though stuck to the wooden floorboards.
“Do you have time for my problems? It’s a long story.” She neared the back door of the cabin now. “Okay. I understand. Was that him? Okay. Go. Go. I love you,” she said, and it squeezed my chest that those words were followed by a heartbreaking whimper before she reentered the cabin and took the first left into the bathroom without even seeing me standing there.
44
ELIZABETH
[34 weeks ago]
@pancakesareelite:
