It was unreal watching Elizabeth laugh with my friends, more unreal knowing she’d managed to coax a smile out of Claire. I felt better about letting my walls drop. If Claire couldn’t actively maintain distance, no one in the world could expect me to. Not when Elizabeth had her beautiful copper hair curled into a messy bun with strands escaping to frame her gorgeous, freckled cheeks. Throughout the night, her gaze searched for mine, and I wondered what answers she found there. Would she tell me? Because I still had no idea what to do with everything I was feeling. I knew what Iwantedto do.
I walked outside with my friends, leaving Elizabeth behind. Even though Rose had hugged me goodbye, she managed to sneak in a second hug before climbing into William’s car.
“Bye, you.” I patted her head.
She smiled guiltily. “I’m sorry if I was overly familiar with her. I didn’t want her to feel left out…”
“Yeah, I kinda rely on you for that,” I said.
She let out a small laugh. “I won’t be her friend if you don’t—”
I pulled her in for a bonus hug, which to her would be gold. “I know, Rose. It’s okay. She’s hard to resist. That’s kinda how I got into this mess.” I huffed out a long breath.
“I can see you’ve already forgiven her.”
“Of course I’ve forgiven her. I’ll always forgive her.” My heart raced at the mere thought of Elizabeth. Of Lily.
Rose bit down on her bottom lip in a weak attempt to resist a smile. “Lincoln, what’s the problem, then?”
“Aside from her being my intern? We could lose our jobs.”
Rose waved me off as if that wasn’t important. “That’s an external factor. If you removed that, what then?”
“It can’t be disregarded but without it…” I thought for a moment. It never occurred to me that I could consider us without thinking about our futures at Simucon. “There are at least four outcomes, and I don’t know if I can handle the other three.”
“Engineers are problem solvers, are they not?”
“Not this kind of problem. I don’t think you’re supposed to use a spreadsheet for love stuff,” I said with a sigh as the wordloveslipped out of my mouth. I looked up at the night sky, where clouds covered the sparkling stars. All I saw was Elizabeth’s eyes. The exquisite way the gray blended in with a pale blue, the shimmer and sparkle behind them when she teased.
Everything beautiful in the world reminded me of her.
“I, uh, kinda used a spreadsheet with William. I needed it. Even though I already knew how I felt.” Rose stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around me for one last hug. After this, I wouldn’t be hugging her for at least a year. She’d used up her hug quota. “You’re having doubts about something, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with letting yourself solve it the way you need to. Make your spreadsheet, Lincoln. Trust your process.”
I walked with her to the car, where the others were already buckled in and waiting. Claire’s concerned expression had budged but not disappeared.
“I’m fine,” I said.
“We left some treats and essentials.” Claire crinkled her nose. “And good luck.”
By the time I went back inside, Elizabeth was elbow-deep inwashing the dishes and giving me the same strange guilty look Rose had.
After a game night with my friends, the sight of Elizabeth helping me clean up afterward sent me to a near state of delusion. This could be our life.
It was the thought I’d been trying to ignore every time I looked at her, but tonight made it especially impossible. She’d been at my side while we played, ate, and laughed. She wished my friends good night. In another life, I’d have her to myself afterward. I’d have walked up to her and curled my arms around her from behind, letting my hands explore her soft waist. My mouth would be on her neck in an instant, tasting her freckles. She’d chuckle, and it would only make me want her more. Her sudsy hands would probably end up on my T-shirt, and I wouldn’t care. I would kiss her. Love her.
A deep pain flashed across my chest. If I kept thinking about her, I may need a visit to the ER.
“Your friends are amazing.” She glanced at me for a nanosecond.
“They really are.” I collected some of the dishes that had been left at the now-dying fire. “Rose is very excitable.”
“She’s like a windup toy,” Elizabeth said, and quickly added, “but in a good way.”
The laugh that escaped me was louder than I’d intended. I had, on more than one occasion, thought the same thing about Rose.
Elizabeth took the mugs from me and submerged them in the soapy water.
“Need help?” I asked.
