“Just finishing our coffee,” Kelsey said.
I looked up from my phone. “Erm. What time are we leaving?”
“Whenever you’re ready. The last ferry’s at four. We need to be at the dock by three to get everything loaded.”
I nodded, grateful to be spared making a decision. Or a mistake.
His brow lifted. “Is that a problem? Was there something you needed to do?”
“Nope. It’s nothing.” The last thing I needed was another half-hearted gesture from my ex-boyfriend demonstrating his willingness—his lack of willingness—to fit me into his life. “Just a ‘U up’ from Chris.”
He and Kelsey exchanged glances.
Heat rushed up my face and stung the back of my eyes.Getting on the road now, I typed to Chris.Sorry.
Sorry I didn’t warn you I was coming.
Sorry things didn’t work out.
Sorry you don’t love me the way I thought you did.
Why was I apologizing?
Another text bubble appeared from Chris.I’ll call u
Maybe he would, I thought, stuffing my phone in my pocket.
And maybe he was breadcrumbing, leaving just enough of a trail for my heart to follow.
Kelsey hugged me as we said goodbye. “Come back soon. Both of you.”
As if we were a couple. I glanced at Joe.
“Thanks for having us,” Joe said, wrestling me for my bag. Not that it was much of a contest.
“Told you my friends liked you,” he said as he carried it down the back stairs to the alley.
I smiled. “Well, if they can put up with you, they’ll tolerate anybody.”
But no matter how welcoming Joe’s friends were, I couldn’t let their kindness blind me to the facts. I’d done that with Chris, pretending that his friends were mine, that I fit into his life. Carried away by hope and imagination, I’d spun my feelings into a future that didn’t exist.
Joe had been hung up on his ex for the past two years. I couldn’t compete with that. Even if I wanted to.
Last night we’d shared a bed. We had way more room in the truck. But wrapped in our private bubble, I was conscious of the jut of his thigh as he pressed on the gas, the flex of his hands on the wheel, his smell. I’d spent years deliberately not noticing him, and now he filled my senses. I blamed the kiss. Or the remnants of my puppy crush or some rebound reaction to seeing Chris again or the fact that I’d now gone months without sex.
I fiddled with my phone, searching for music to fill the silence. No more anthems to runaway dreams, no more songs about escaping your small-town past. What I needed was a breakup playlist. I needed Taylor Swift.
“We are never ever ever getting back together…”belted from the speakers.
I checked my messages again.
Joe glanced over from the driver’s seat. “You all right?”
“Fine.” I forced myself to put my phone away, to still my jiggling leg. “I got a text from Hailey. She wants to have a tea party when I get back.”
“I appreciate you spending time with her.”
“That’s kind of my job description, spending time with teenagers. Besides, Hailey’s great.”
