“Why would I be worried?”
“You’re so confident.” She patted my arm. “I must say, I admire you sending him off to start his fellowship without you. I could never do a long-distance relationship.”
“No, really. Why should I be worried?”
She gave a tinkling laugh. “You’re so funny. I guess Chris told you I’m going to Boston Children’s.”
“He didn’t mention it, no.”
“That’s why tonight is so special. All of us together one last time…Of course, we’ll see each other at work for the next two weeks. But this is our chance to celebrate. It was so generous of Pam and Bradley to include everyone. Tomorrow will be special, too, of course. Very personal. Intimate.”
I nodded. “Family only.”
“And significant others,” she said with a sparkling look. “You must be looking forward to seeing Chris get his award. This kind of event gives you a whole new perspective and appreciation for your loved one, doesn’t it?”
A new perspective. “Totally.”
“And here he is! Are you ready?” she asked Chris. She turned back to me. “A bunch of us are going to Streeter’s. You’re welcome to join us.”
I swallowed. “I can’t.”
“It’s been a long day,” Chris said apologetically.
My brain buzzed. He was going to tell her he couldn’t goout with the others tonight. Which kind of sucked for him. For them. On the other hand, we hadn’t been alone in forever. We needed to talk. “I don’t want to ruin your evening.”
“So, I’ll see you later,” he said at the same time.
I blinked at him through a cosmo haze. “You want me to…wait for you at the apartment?”
Lauren glanced from me to Chris. “I’ll just be over there.” Very tactful. Classy.
My stomach lurched.
He watched her go, shining and elegant, before turning back to me. His shoulders were stiff in his crisp white shirt. “I’m staying here tonight.”
My thoughts swam. “At the hotel.”
He nodded without meeting my eyes. “But ifyouneed a place to stay…I mean, it’s kind of last-minute. Everything’s probably booked. But you can use my place. You know the code.”
Sudden clarity pierced the sober part of my brain. He was not choosing me. This Chris—evasive, dismissive, uninvested—was not the boy I knew, not the man I loved. But this was who he was. Or who he was becoming. Or…was this who he had always been, and I’d simply refused to see?
Maybe I was the one who had changed.
He smiled at me, his old, familiar Chris smile, and my breath stopped. “It’s the least I can do, after you came all this way.”
I opened my mouth. In my mind, I could hear Joe’s voice. “I never have to wonder where I am with you. How you feel. What I did wrong.” His smile warmed my memory. “Saves guesswork.”
I looked at Chris. “You asshole.”
His smile vanished. “If this is about lunch tomorrow—”
“Not that. Not only that. There’s no room for me.”
“I understand your feelings are hurt.” His voice was cool and formal. “But the department needed a head count a week ago.”
“I’m not talking about seating arrangements.” Crap. I seemed to be crying. “There’s no room for me in yourlife.”
He took a step closer. “Don’t make this my fault. You’re the one who broke up with me. I thought you wanted what I wanted. I thought you’d be happy for me.”
