I thought his lips twitched under the beard. “Least I could do. Considering.”
“Now, Joe,” my mother said. “It was an accident.”
Any trace of humor vanished. “I’m still responsible.”
“Don’t start with that again. You’re not,” Mom said.
They exchanged a long glance while I looked on, left out and frustrated. It was like they were speaking in some secret code and I didn’t have the key that would let me understand.
“I got Nicole’s casserole,” Mom said briskly. “You tell her I said thanks.”
Nicole was Joe’s mother, I remembered.
“You can tell her yourself tomorrow night,” Joe said.
Tomorrow was the visitation. And the morning after that…
Yearning for my father clutched me so hard I couldn’t breathe.
The morning after that was his funeral.
2
Anne
Then
In the spring of myjunior year, my best friend got married. Her wedding day looked like a Pinterest board or an Instagram post, framed in flowers and filtered in sunlight. Green buds veiled the trees. The lake sparkled like diamonds. The horses were back on the island for the season, all the shops and restaurants along Main Street coming out of hibernation. Beyond the tall windows, tulips pushed up, scarlet and gold, rolling like a royal carpet over the grass. Inside the pavilion, you couldn’t feel the chill in the air or the breeze slicing off the water.
But as I stood to give my toast, my lips felt frozen. There was an icy lump in my stomach.
“Hi, I’m Anne.” I raised my voice over the clatter of knives and forks. “For those of you who don’t know me”—I paused for the polite laughter, since, with the exception of the groom’s merchant marine buddies, I knew every soul at this reception—“I’ve been Daanis’s best friend since we were playing dress-up in kindergarten.”
More indulgent smiles.
“We were wild horses and explorers, princesses and astronauts. But Daanis always wanted to be a bride.” Even then, when I was planning our adventures. That should have been a clue. I wiped my palms on the skirt of my lilac maid-of-honor dress. I’d put purple streaks in my hair to match. “And now it’s her wedding day for real.”
My throat closed.
This was where a good writer—a goodfriend—would know exactly the right words to say. I’d written and discarded a hundred drafts in preparation for this day. I could point out that Daanis had known Zack almost as long as she’d known me. They’d been together since high school. I could talk about how I’d seen their feelings grow, how they brought out the best in each other, how their love was Meant to Be.
But I wasn’t just Daanis’s friend. We were sisters of the heart, kindred spirits, like Anne and Diana in the Avonlea stories. And standing there, all I could think was our relationship would never be the same again.
Everybody was watching, waiting for me to finish my speech so they could get on with their dinner before the dancing started. My mother, in the black pants she wore to church every Sunday, stolidly chewed her way through the chicken entree. Next to her, my father nodded and smiled. And there was Joe, leaning back in a spindly chair. His mouth curled as he caught my eye.
Jerk.
I looked away pointedly.
Daanis was sitting beside me, her eyes shining and full of trust, holding her new husband’s hand on the table. Choosing him over me. I couldn’t argue with that. Zack was her person now.
But how could she choose the life she’d have with him over the dreams we’d shared?
It wasn’t something I could ever, ever ask. Or say. I needed to pull myself together before I opened my big mouth and spoiled the reception the way I ruined everything else.
I took a deep breath. “Daanis has always been there for me. Like, literally. Growing up, our bedrooms were only a hundred feet apart. We measured the distance once with string. We used to signal each other at night with flashlights from our windows. We built fairy houses together in the woods. She did my nails. I did her English homework— Just kidding, Mrs.Powell!” I called to one of the tables. My former teacher shook her head, smiling.
I cleared my throat. “My point is, Daanis and I shared everything. Lunches. Books. Secrets. Heck, I was her date to prom, until Zack showed up.” Another spatter of laughter, as my fingers tightened on my champagne glass. “And that’s the thing. Zack will always show up for Daanis. Daanis will always be there for Zack. Because…Well, that’s what you do for the people you love. She is the best friend, the kindest person I’ve ever known, and she deserves every happiness. So…” I raised my glass. “Here’s to best friends. To being there for each other, always. To Daanis and Zack.”
