I believed him. And yet…did he even know what would make me happy?
“I haven’t said I’ll come with you” came out of my mouth.
And there it was.
“It’s not like you have a lot of choices. The writing’s on the wall, isn’t it? They’re obviously pushing you out at Ravenscrest. This could be a fresh start. For both of us. You can always find another teaching job.”
He was right. But he was also minimizing my experience, my feelings.
It’s only an apartment, I told myself desperately. It wasn’t his fault that I was stuck, lost, while he continued on his unbroken career path.
“Chris, you can’t make decisions for me. We’re a team. Partners.”
Unless we weren’t.
I had never felt the inequality between us so keenly before. I waited for him to reassure me, to convince me to change my mind.
He sighed with exaggerated patience. “Look, honey, you’re upset. You’re not feeling well. We’ll talk when I get back.”
On the opposite side of the tracks, a train screeched and squealed into the station, headed in the wrong direction.
I swallowed. “I won’t be here.”
“I can’t hear you. What?”
“I’m going home.” I felt a spurt of panic. But the words were already out there, round and solid.
“For a visit.” Not a question.
“For the summer,” I said.
What did I want him to say?
“Don’t do anything you’ll regret.”
Not that.
“You know how you always jump into things.”
Not that, either.My heart ached with the things he didn’tsay.Don’t go. I love you. I need you.Because the truth was, he’d never needed me.
The train pulled out of the station, rattling along the rails, building speed.
“That’s why I’m going. I need time away to think. To figure out what I want.” Against its bandage, my tattoo throbbed in time with my thudding heart. “I might even work on my novel.”
The one my father would never have the chance to read.
My laptop was full of writing fragments, chapters that went nowhere and characters in search of a plot. I was pretty sure the world didn’t need another novel about a confused, entitled Sad Girl trying to figure out her life. But right now, that was all I had.
Maybe, if I went home, I’d find a different story to tell.
9
Joe
Then
After Joe finished his apprenticeship,Rob asked him to stay on. Which suited Joe fine. He was bringing home more money, which helped. Taking on more responsibility. He was grateful to Rob for giving him his start. And there were times, like now, when Rob needed Joe to get the job done.
