He nodded. “That’s where I was matched. Egleston Children’s Hospital in Atlanta. It’s part of the Emory University system.”
My lips were numb. My mind spun like the Blue Circle of Death on a computer screen.Application processing…
Don’t overreact, warned a voice in my head. My mother’s voice. “I thought you requested the University of Chicago for your fellowship,” I said carefully.
“I did. The University of Chicago, Northwestern, and Emory.”
“So, what happened?” That edge in my voice…That was my mother, too.
“Fellows are matched with hospitals based on rankings and preference. Emory was the higher-ranked match.”
“Based on their preference? Or yours?”
“Both, I suppose. It’s a great opportunity,” he said.
I stared. “For you.”
“For us.” He smiled. “You’ll love Atlanta.”
My leg was jiggling up and down. I made a conscious effort to still it. “When were you going to tell me?”
“I wanted to tell you right away. But then this thing happened with your father…”
“He died.”
“Yes. I didn’t want to bother you.” His voice was so warm, his gaze so clear, I felt myself relenting. “I thought you needed to focus on yourself. On your family.”
He was doing the same thing he did during the pandemic—making decisions from his superior knowledge and with the best possible intentions and expecting me to go along. The way he did at the hospital, guiding anxious parents through life-and-death choices for their child.
Except I wasn’t a child, dang it. I didn’t need a doctor. I needed a partner.
“You can’t make a decision like this for both of us.”
He looked wounded. “I thought you’d be happy. This is what you wanted, for us to move in together—to take the next step in our relationship. And now that your work situation is so unsettled…”
I felt as though we were skating over ice, playing crack the whip. I held on desperately, whipsawing on the end of the line. “But…Atlanta. It’s so far away. My job is here. My mom.”
“Your mother lives seven hours away. Besides, you could be looking for a new job, anyway. This is really for the best, timing-wise.”
I didn’t know what to say. “We still need to talk about it.”
“Now?” My expression must have changed, because he added hastily, “Of course. I don’t know what you want me to say, though. The matches have already been made. There’s nothing I can do about that.” He rubbed his face with one hand, his weariness evident. “I was hoping on your first night home…But naturally, if you want to talk, I’ll listen.”
His reasonableness made me feel guilty. Defensive. Did we really need to go into all this now?Yes, I wanted to shout. But I wasn’t sure.
I could hear my mother in my head. “It’s time for you to grow up.”
And another voice, deep and mocking. “Pest.”
My chest felt hot. “It’s only…It’s a big decision.”
“Which is why it should wait until we’re both less tired.” Chris met my gaze, his hazel eyes clear and entreating. A smile crooked the corner of his mouth. “Please?”
It was thepleasethat did me in.
He wasn’t taking my choice away. Not on purpose, at least. It was in my power to give him this. To do what he wanted. To be who he needed.
I swallowed. “I guess we can talk later.”
