“She applied to KU because of me. She’s here in Ireland because of me.”Because I ran away.
“My dear girl, you mustn’t let a misplaced sense of responsibility deprive you of a wonderful opportunity. Not every girl gets to go to Gstaad.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“We had an understanding,” Glenda said. “The girls will be so disappointed. I’m disappointed.”
I swallowed. “I’m really sorry. I’ll make it up to you,” I promised. “To all of you. Somehow. When Sophie and Lily get back, we can—”
“I’m afraid that won’t be possible,” Glenda said.
“Excuse me?”
“If I can’t trust you to honor your obligations, I can’t possibly leave the girls in your care. Unless...” Her gaze met mine. “You were to reconsider...?”
I recognized the invitation. And the threat. Gray used the same tactic all the time—nothing stated, everything implied.Do what I want and all is forgiven. Be what I need or else. I had made myself who he wanted—what I thought he wanted—me to be. I wouldn’t make myself what Glenda wanted.
Even if it meant I could stay.
I shook my head silently.
“In that case, I expect you to be gone when we get back. Both of you,” Glenda said, as if that wasn’t clear.
“This won’t affect... I mean, we’ll still see each other. At the writing center,” I said.
“I told you when I hired you that your job performance and your academic evaluation have nothing to do with one another. Fortunately.” She smiled thinly. “I only hope Maeve was wrong.”
My stomach swooped. “Dr.Ward? Wrong about what?”
“When we considered your application, she questioned your ability to commit to the program. After your experience at Kansas... Well. Do be sure to say good-bye to the girls before you go,” Glenda added.
For tonight? I wondered. For the week? Or for good?
Not that it mattered.
I was dismissed.
—
Before Toni and I went out for the night, I gave the girls hugs and their Christmas presents. Sophie ripped hers open, popped the training jersey over her head, and galumphed down the stairs to model it for her mother.
Lily sat on her bed, staring down at the exquisitely drawn cover of the first issue ofMonstressthat I’d found in a shop near the Ha’penny Bridge.
“The heroine is a teenage girl. It’s kind of dark,” I said. “But I love Marjorie Liu’s writing. And the artist—Takeda—is a woman.” (“She’ll love it,” Toni had said.)
Lily’s face scrunched. “I hate you for leaving.”
The misery in her eyes made my heart squeeze. But I wasn’t going to make things better by throwing her mother under the bus.
“I’ll miss you, too,” I said gently. “But you have your mom. And your sister. They’re all you really need.”
All I’d needed.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. At least I still had Toni.
—
This is great,” my sister said brightly, looking around the pub.
