“I can’t,” I said with some relief. I’d gone with Reeti to a party last week. It was loud and noisy, and everybody there seemed to have read the same books and gone to the same schools and shopped at the same stores. Like high school, only with better shoes and accents. “I’ve got the girls for dinner tonight. But thanks for asking.”
“Anytime. At least you can hang out with Hot Chai Guy.”
“He’s not here.”
It was embarrassing, how much I’d hoped to see Sam at practice. How disappointed I was when he wasn’t there. His sister, Grace, was sitting with her book on the sidelines, along with a younger boy who looked enough like them to be the other brother.Jack?
“Anyway, I’m not looking for another relationship,” I said. I was still... in love? In mourning, maybe, for Gray. Or mourning the girl I used to be, the one who imagined a man like that could love me.
“What about sex?”
I flushed, glancing reflexively at Lily, standing right in front of me, waiting to use my phone. “What about it?”
“Have you slept with anybody since the fucker?”
“Er, no.”
“It might be what you need to get over him. You have the boots. Get back on that horse and ride, cowgirl!”
I laughed. “It’s been so long I’d probably fall off. Tim’s here,” I said, hoping to change the subject.
On the far side of the pitch. I’d waved to him when I first arrived and gotten a short nod in return. It was as if I’d dreamed that buzzy moment at the Nortons’ door, when I’d thought he was going to kiss me. Was I really so desperate for approval, for affection, that I’d make up an attraction where none existed?
Probably.
Crap.
“Tell him I said hello,” Reeti said.
“I will.”
“Can I have your phone now?” Lily asked.
“I have to go,” I told Reeti, and ended the call.
Not many parents stuck around to watch practice. A few mothers, holding jackets or snacks. A father, attempting to coach from the sidelines, screaming at a miserable-faced kid on Tim’s team.
The girls finished first. Sophie ran over, her cheeks pink with exercise or excitement. “Dee, can I go to Aoife’s house for dinner?”
I looked over her shoulder at Sam’s little sister, hopping from foot to foot. “Honey, you’re having dinner with Lily and me tonight.”
“Please?”
“You’ll have to ask your parents.” I smiled into their disappointed faces. “Another time, girls. I’m sorry.”
Sophie scowled. “No!”
Aoife appealed to her older sister, approaching from the bench. “Gracie, make her say yes.”
Grace gave me a friendly look. “You’re Sam’s friend, aren’t you? The American at university.”
Sam’s friend. I smiled. “Dee. Yeah. Hi.”
On the other side of the field, practice had ended. Tim was on the sidelines, talking quietly to Screaming Dad.
“...welcome to eat with us,” Grace was saying.
“Thanks. It’s just... Sophie’s parents are out tonight.” A dinner at the college. “I’m not sure what time I’d be able to pick her up.”
