He ducked away from her hand. “Don’t get too excited, Ma. I haven’t been accepted yet.”
“You will be,” I said. “You belong at Trinity. More than I do.”
Sam raised an eyebrow. “Feeling insecure, are we? You shouldn’t.”
I shook my head.
But Toni’s departure had disturbed my routine, as if my reason for being had walked out the door. I didn’t need to live my life for my sister anymore. I didn’t even need to set a good example. Consequently, I was struggling to set priorities, to balance the demands competing for my attention. It was hard to spend time on required reading when Reeti’s real-life romantic drama was playing out before my eyes. At the library, I had to force myself to shelve the books in my cart instead of dipping inside the covers.I drifted between the stacks, stealing glances out the wall of windows at the emerald-green playing fields and the Pav outside, dotted with chatting students and lovers enjoying the weak spring sunshine.
And then there was Tim. We weren’t like those couples on the green, holding hands and kissing in public. Tim was reserved (shy, I thought), and I didn’t want to flaunt our relationship in front of Reeti. But when we were alone in his apartment, he made it clear he wanted me. Every time our eyes met or our hands brushed, I felt a strong, hot squeeze of lust. It was hard to immerse myself in my fictional world when all I wanted was to run downstairs to be with him. I was infatuated with his body, happiest in his company. But was it true love? Or was I losing myself—my purpose for being here—to another fairy tale? He didn’t say. And I was too happy (or afraid) to ask.
“I’m just feeling...”Overwhelmed.“Busy,” I said. “I have a five-thousand-word essay due next Thursday, and I’m supposed to turn in a big chunk of my portfolio for critique.”
“Things to look forward to,” Sam said.
Our eyes met. He smiled lopsidedly.
“Better get to it, then,” Janette said. She poured my tea into a to-go cup. “You can take this with you.”
—
That night after dinner, Reeti got out the game board.
“Not Monopoly,” I said.
Tim looked at me, his brow puckering. “I have Catan. TheGame of Thronesversion.”
Reeti rolled her eyes. “Of course you do.”
“Ican’t,” I said. “I have to write tonight. I’ve wasted too much time this semester.”
There was a short, awkward pause as I realized how thatsounded. “Not that time with you is wasted. But if I don’t finish this essay, I won’t get my chapters done for critique before I have to give them to Dr.Ward.”
“I thought that was a different class,” Reeti said.
“It is. But I want the feedback.”
Tim’s face was smooth and expressionless. “Don’t let me get in your way.”
“How many players do you need for Catan?” Reeti asked him.
“At least three.”
Reeti tapped her lavender nails against her glass. “I can call Fiadh.”
I could feel my new boundaries disintegrating under pressure. I was frustrated—with them, sure, but mostly with myself. “Don’t you guys have work to do? Studying for midterms or something?”
“No,” Tim said. “I have an independent project this semester. Basically, getting academic credit for doing my job.”
“And I don’t really care. Maybe if I fail spectacularly Daddy-ji won’t want me as his financial manager.”
“You’re kidding, right?” I asked. Failure was not an option for me. Not unless I wanted to prove Gray right all along.
“Of course I’m kidding. I couldn’t let my parents down that way.”
If I failed, I wouldn’t be letting down anyone but myself. The responsibility—and the consequences—were all on me.
“You do realize you don’t have to work in the family business,” Tim said.
