I twisted my fingers together in my lap. “Maybe I owe it to me.”
“Owe yourself what, for God’s sake?” Reeti asked.
I stared at Gray’s message, a tiny spark kindling inside me.Anger. I had a name for it now. “Closure.”
“He’s not worth your time,” Tim said.
I studied the game board as if the answer were there somewhere, between the Jail and Chance. “You don’t understand. I thought... I hoped I’d never have to deal with him again. But I can’t run away from what he did to me.”
“Wherever you go, there you are,” Toni said.
I nodded. “When I saw him... I thought if I ever saw him again, it would be different. I would be different. And instead, I froze. I need to fight.”
“Defeat your dragons,” Tim murmured.
I flashed him a look of gratitude. “Face them, anyway. I have to meet him.”
“Then I’m going with you.”
Fiadh glanced sharply from him to me.
“No,” I said more firmly than I felt. “I need to do this myself.”
“Every knight needs a squire.” His right cheek indented. “Besides, it’s only fair. You came to my rescue.”
“When?”
“The first time I saw you.” Behind his steel-rimmed glasses, his gaze was clear and direct.
I smiled a little. “So I did.”
He gave a nod, as if everything were decided. “Right, then. I’ll be happy to buy him dinner while you tell him to piss off.”
“Not dinner,” I said. “Drinks only. Me and Gray. You can wait for me at the bar.”
Because it was time to throw myself out of my comfort zone.
And maybe I’d surprise myself.
Twenty-three
Should you be going to his hotel?” Tim asked the following night.
We were in his car, driving to my meeting with Gray. Tim had offered, and I... Well, honestly, I was not dressed for the bus. No puffer jacket, no faded sweater, no stretchy pants tonight, no, sir. I was armored down to my underwear in a charcoal gray sweater dress with a deep V-neck and crocheted hem, dangly silver earrings, and my cowboy boots. My hair was down and styled in loose waves, which had taken twenty minutes and the use of Reeti’s curling iron to achieve. I wanted Gray to look at me and see New Dee, unflappable, poised, shit pulled together. I wanted him to be consumed with remorse and regret and also possibly swallow his tongue.
“His hotel is fine. This won’t take long,” I said with more confidence than I felt. “Quick in, quick out.”
“Indeed.” A trace of a question, a hint of a joke.
I laughed. “I’m not going to his room.”
“He doesn’t know that.”
“He should. I told him we’d meet in the bar. Drinks only, I said.” A sidelong look. “Besides, you’ll be there.”
“I won’t be sitting with you. Unless you’ve changed your mind.”
I shook my head. “I appreciate the support. I do. But I’ve got this.”
