I waited until she was gone before I undressed. By the time she returned, I was safely under the covers. “Thanks, Amy.”
She adjusted the blinds so the light didn’t shine in my eyes. “So, what happened with the boyfriend?”
“He left.”
“Yeah, I know. I was in the kitchen. Did you guys have a fight or something?”
Amy and I had never confided in each other. Not like Meg and Jo. “He had to get back to the tour.”
“Without you?”
My face was hot. “I’ve been sick.”
“You were fine yesterday. And earlier this morning. And you were obviously fine last night.” She narrowed her eyes. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”
“What? No!”
“You can’t blame me for wondering. Not after Jo.”
She sounded like Colt.
“Not pregnant.” My stomach hurt. I closed my eyes. Turned my head away.
Something soft brushed my arm. My chin.
I opened my eyes in surprise. Amy, tucking my bear under the covers with me.
“Look, I’m not going to judge you. I’ve done enough stupid shit myself.” She sat on the edge of my bed, the mattress depressing under her weight. “But you do look a little run-down. It must be tough, performing every night. Maybe your boyfriend’s right. Maybe you do need a break.”
“You don’t understand.”
“So explain it to me.”
Funny, how we had shared this room for seven years and never really talked before. We never needed to. Meg was always Amy’sconfidante, the way Jo was mine. Our father was gone. And Mom was always so busy. But Meg and Jo took care of us. Spoiled us, really.
“I’m not like you. I don’t know who I am or what I want all the time. There’s really only one thing I’m good at, and it’s hard to let it go.”
Amy nodded. “Your music.”
I hugged the bear tighter. Shame swelled inside me. I wasn’t talking about my music. “Yes. No. It’s not that.”
“Is it Colt?”
Once I told... But I couldn’t tell. My sisters would descend on me with well-meaning questions and suggestions and loving concern, and I’d never have control again.
I nodded instead. “I wanted him to stay,” I said, giving her a tiny truth. “At least for a couple days. We’ve been together two years, and it’s good, we’re good together, it’s just...”
“You want to get married,” Amy said.
I was jolted, as usual, by her bluntness. “Not married.” Meg was the one who couldn’t wait to start a family. Anyway, Colt had made it clear—weddings and kids, not his thing. “I’m not expecting a proposal. It’s only been two years. Lots of couples are together longer than that without...”
“A music contract?”
I closed my eyes.
“Sorry.” She stroked my hair, the way Jo used to. “I’m just saying, don’t expect too much. He’s your first serious boyfriend.”
“Daddy was Momma’s first love.” They practically grew up together, the rich kid from the big white house and the farmers’ daughter. As far as I knew, our mother had never even looked at another man.
