“Absolutely. I laughed, I cried,” Patricia said. “Colleen is thrilled.”
Lauren pressed a hand to her chest. After so many months of churning panic, of feeling like a fraud, of being unable to write, she couldn’t quite take it in. Her agent’s reassurance felt almost surreal. “That’s... great. So great. Thank you.”
Jack. Her heart swelled.
She had to tell Jack. She was seeing him again tonight.Every night. The thought brought another rush of pleasure.
“... very emotional, very powerful,” Patricia was saying. “All those memories of your father, the reactions of your friends... I had no idea. And Colleen and I loved the way you used Ben’s letters from jail to talk about what you were both going through.”
“I’m so glad,” Lauren said. Maybe they should go out tonight. To celebrate. She could buy.
“She did mention that the story feels a little... unfinished,” Patricia said.
Lauren jerked her mind back to the present. “Maybe because it is?” she suggested.
“Don’t get me wrong, we both think it’s terrific. But Colleen was hoping for some sort of blockbuster happy ending.”
Blockbuster?
“I was thinking a car chase,” Lauren said. “Or me standing on a fire escape and Richard Gere driving up in a big white limo.”Jack climbing toward her, a whole bouquet of roses in his teeth. Save me.
“Excuse me?” Patricia said.
Lauren shook her head. Clearly, Mom should never have let her watchPretty Womanat that sleepover when she was twelve.
“A happy ending,” she repeated. “You bet.” Meg had said the same thing.
“Just a little kick,” Patricia said. “A little oomph. Your readers want that big emotional payoff. They want to beinspired.”
“Sure.”
But all she could think of was Jack, cooking her dinner on his boat while the sun sank into the sea. Jack in his uniform, talking softly to the cat. Jack, smiling at her with that crooked half smile, making her laugh. Making her come.
“Lauren? Did you hear what I said?”
Lauren blew out her breath. Not the kind of inspiration her editor was looking for.
“I’ll work on it,” she promised.
“Of course you will. I have total faith in you.”
Given that her agent had just read—in raw, real, irreverent detail—Lauren’s struggles with anxiety on the road, Lauren appreciated her confidence very much. “Thanks, Patricia.”
“You are better now, right? No more problems?” her agent asked.
Lauren heard the concern in her voice. “Much better, thanks.”
Sex was a proven stress reliever. But it wasn’t only the orgasms. She felt safe around Jack. Free from danger, yes, but also free to be herself. She hadn’t had a panic attack since she’d set off the alarm at Jane’s more than three weeks ago.
Of course, nothing had happened recently that would trigger her symptoms.
But she was well enough to finish her book.
She shivered despite the bright sunshine, goose bumps breaking out on her skin.
“Wonderful,” Patricia said. “Let me know if there’s anything you need. And tell Meg to copy me on your speaking schedule. When do you get back?”
“I don’t know.” Out in the harbor, a seagull hung suspended in midair, making no headway at all against the wind. “I might... I was thinking of staying awhile after the book is finished.”
