Oh God. The sunny wedding scene shifted and re-formed again into a picture she did not want to see. “I did not say that.”
“Pretty damn close.”
“I just meant...” Her brain scrambled. “A negative first relationship can set up an expectation of failure, make it more difficult to build intimacy.”
He slanted a glance down at her. “Or it can teach you what you really want.”
She nodded. “Your first love is like a starting point. It dictates where you are. But you decide how to go on.”
“Moving forward.”
“Yes.”
“Good.” He held her tighter. “Because I’m in this thing, all right? I’m in this thing with you, whether it fits your theories or not.”
Her heart jumped. Her feet stopped moving. She couldn’t keep up with him, in the dance or in the conversation.I’m in this thing with you...
That didn’t sound like a hookup. Or even a rebound relationship.
Breathe. “That doesn’t... We haven’t...”
“‘Enjoy the trip,’” he said softly, and she realized he was quoting.
Is that what she’d said? It sounded like her. “Yes.”
His hand on the small of her back urged her closer into the warmth of his body, the hard planes of his torso, the ridge of his erection.
She sucked in her breath.
He kissed her hair. “So let’s enjoy.”
Live in the moment. Savor the moment. Store up as many moments as you can, a bright and shining hoard against the time when you are gone.
Resting her head against his chest, she closed her eyes and let him lead her where she wanted to go.
Fifteen
THE ISLAND SPARKLEDin the wake of a summer squall. High piled clouds, the color of a bruise, swept west over the mainland, dragging a thin curtain of rain behind them. The water had the dull gleam of tarnished silver.
Lauren walked from the bakery to the Pirates’ Rest, the wind tugging at her hair, her laptop bumping at her hip. When her pocket buzzed, she grabbed her phone and looked at the number on the display.
PATRICIA BROWN. Her agent.
Lauren sucked in her breath.
Two days ago, shaking with nerves and bravado, she had e-mailed the first seventeen chapters of her book to her editor and her agent.
Now... She fumbled with the phone, cupping the device against her ear to block the rustle of the wind. “Patricia?”
“Lauren, darling. I just got off the phone with Colleen.” Her editor.
Lauren’s heart slammed against her ribs. “And?”
“Well, she loves it, of course. We both just love it.”
The horizon blurred, soft and bright. She’d been braced so long under the pressing burden of failure. Now, with that weight lifted, she felt ridiculously light, her head like a balloon, her legs wobbly. Her chest inflated with air.
“Really?” Her voice squeaked as if she’d inhaled helium.
