She took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry,” Jack said. Not that he’d done anything to apologize for. But he’d been married ten years. You couldn’t go wrong withI’m sorry.
She shook her head impatiently. “It’s fine. Everything’s backed up to the cloud. Not that it was worth much anyway.”
It. The laptop? Or her work?
She tapped the power button. The laptop ticked like the timer on an explosive device before the screen flickered to life. “It works,” Lauren said hopefully.
Something—a fan?—clunked and whirred. Not a good sound.
“Turn it off,” Jack said. “Save the battery.”
She nodded and closed the lid. Her head bent. Her fingers tightened on the plastic.
That small, betraying gesture ripped him up inside, made him want to go forth and slay dragons. Or hit something. Anything besides dealing with actual tears, actual feelings.
“Sorry.” She straightened her shoulders. “I’m really glad you’re here. I’m not usually like this.”
She was talking. Not crying. That was good. “You’re doing great.”
She gave him a disbelieving look and he bit back a grin. She was coming back.
“How often does this happen?” he asked.
“Me breaking into places where I work?”
But he wouldn’t be put off by her wry tone. Shewascoming back. But wherever she’d been, in her thoughts, in her head, was a dark place. “The PTSD.”
She opened her mouth. Shut it. “That’s not... It’s not the same. I’m not a Marine.”
“But you have flashbacks,” he guessed.
Her breath hitched. “Not as often as I used to.”
He didn’t say anything.
“It was just a panic attack,” she said. “I’m not... I’m fine.”
He wondered if she’d been saying that for so long she actually believed it. Or if she was only concerned with what other people believed. “You got something you can take for them?”
The doctors in Afghanistan were always pushing pills. To sleep, to stay awake, to relieve pain or push the demons away.
She shook her head. “They never last long,” she reassured him. “I’ll be better in a minute.”
She was the shrink. She should know. But her hands on the laptop trembled.
He leaned against the counter, crossing his arms against his chest so he wouldn’t grab her and upset her careful equilibrium. “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”
***
LAUREN CLOSED HEReyes against temptation. She was aching and shaking inside, and he looked so good, he sounded so calm, so confident and controlled. She wanted to lean on him, to sink into him. To burrow into his chest and absorb him through her pores, make him part of her. Hers.I’m not going anywhere.
She shut the laptop with a little snap. He didn’t mean the words that way. She forced a playful note in her voice. “No hot date tonight?”
He shook his head once, side to side. “You shouldn’t be alone. Have dinner with me.”
Oh. Heat swept through her again, burning her up from the inside.
