10
Raffi
The party wasin full swing. Raffi had a baller playlist that filled the space with uplifting, sexy vibes; the food he had catered from a local chef was bomb; and his friends had come and brought even more friends. His biggest partier buddy, Devin, had shown up with an entire ream of counterfeit wine-ratings stickers, and after he sipped each, he declared it a winner and slapped a99on the bottle. Raffi turned around and gave all the wine-related compliments to the workers, who actually knew what the hell they were doing. All he did, he said, was provide moral support and not get in the way of the smart people who ran things.
And yet Raffi himself was not happy. Ani hadn’t come. Maybe she forgot. Maybe she was still so hung up on Kami there was no way she even saw him as anything other than a peskyvendor. He thought they’d had a moment, with the flowers and the EpiPen, but maybe he was wrong. After he invited her in person, he hadn’t followed up via text or anything because he didn’t want to come off as desperate. But maybehe should have. The invite was too casual. He hadn’t given her enough hard details; he should have—
“Raffi!”
Before he saw them, two pairs of arms were thrown around him. Riley and Maya, the two most boisterous members of Mad, Bad, and Dangerous Book Club, squeezed hard and then unwrapped themselves from him. Lana and Kennedy were close behind, giving him quick hugs and smiles.
They were all Stanford MBAs doing impressive work just a few years after graduating. Kennedy and Maya, who also had master’s degrees in education, cofounded a progressive elementary school; Riley had landed a job in health care, vowing to create change from the inside; and Lana had invented a way to turn landfill trash into building materials and had just gotten her patent approved. And he was…putzing around a winery.
Riley shouted over the music. “We’re so proud of what you’re doing! Iconic behavior, Raffi. Utterly iconic.”
MBD Book Club met twice a year, down from their monthly meetups while they were in school, but they still kept it up. Seeing everyone outside the walls of their book club was a treat, and he basked in the warmth of old rhythms.
Maya beamed in his direction, waxing nostalgic. “Remember when he read his first Carmen Maria Machado? How his mind was so blown? Look how far he’s come.”
Kennedy added, “Or when we read ‘Cat Person’ and he was like, ‘Wait, why didn’t she just go home?’ So sweet and innocent.”
Raffi waved them off. “Okay, okay. We don’t need to relive Raffi’s greatest hits of becoming a feminist.”
It was true, though. He owed them so much.
Riley glanced toward the counter where various vintages were being uncorked. “Seriously, though, this place is impressive. Now excuse me while I grab a glass and chat up that cute pourer.”
Lana nodded appreciatively toward Justine, who Riley made a beeline toward. “Sheisattractive. Not anyone you’re dating?”
“No,” Raffi said, jarred by the thought. Justine was nice-looking, but first of all, Raffi would never date or hook up with someone who worked for him, and secondly, he simply never had those kinds of thoughts about her.
There was only one person that piqued his interest. One person who was hung up on her ex andnotinterested in him. “Still single over here.”
Kennedy rolled her eyes. “Hopeless!”
Lana said, matter-of-factly, “No, no. There’s always hope.”
Raffi scratched the back of his head. “Fill up as much as you want, by the way. On the house.”
His friends took the invitation. He downed his third glass, surveyed his party, then decided to get another.
As he was getting his refill, the song changed totheone everyone loved, this winter’s number one hit, upbeat and celebratory. Shouts and whoops filled the air. His friends, acquaintances, and people he didn’t know created a dance floor in the middle of the winery, swaying, shaking, and two-stepping.
Riley grabbed his hand. “C’mon, Raffi, let’s dance.”
Raffi shook his head. “Nah, I’m good. You guys go on. I have host duties.”
“If you change your mind, you know where we’ll be,” said Maya, and she pranced toward the newly minted club in the middle of Ô.
Raffi watched them, as sadness so profound filled his body he thought he might vomit. He was glad for everyone, pleased they were having a good time and that the party was successful, but he felt so starkly alone in that moment.
His father refused to come tonight, saying he didn’t want to see what went on at one of Raffi’s wasteful schemes, a stupid attempt at drumming up business. His mother was in Monaco, escaping the harsh winter and likely asleep at this hour. His brother was dead.
They had always been two brothers, a whole thing that had been severed.
Sevan should have been here, not just tonight but the entire time. Advising Raffi against med school because it was so obviously a bad fit for him. Helping him figure out girls, women, instead of the debacle that was his love life. Swapping clothes, playing ball, doing stupid childish things in their twenties like crushing cans on their foreheads and hiking Half Dome in the middle of the night. Sevan should have been here for all of it.
Riley motioned yet again for Raffi to come hit the floor as she attempted a daring take on the lawn mower move and somehow pulled it off. But he felt no desire to join.
