She waited for the ringing to start, but instead, it went straight to voicemail. Oh no. Was there no service? Maybe she had no service.
She waited a few seconds, then tried again. Straight to voicemail.
She texted him.Hey.Just to check, because she had a bad feeling about it. The text, which normally showed up as blue, showed up green.
He’d blocked her.No. He’d…blocked her?
The pain in her chest seemed more expansive than anything she’d felt. Her eyelids were heavy, all her limbs leaden with heartbreak. She couldn’t move. He had really meant it. He said if she left him, then that was it, and he’d followed through.
But then, what had been real? She could have sworn he was in it for the long run. Was he so afraid of being hurt that he’d rather block her and never speak to her again than try to talk and work things out? It didn’t seem right. But then, her phone didn’t lie.
She realized none of it—the success, the weddings, the esteem—meant nearly as much to her now without him. She needed him. And he wanted nothing to do with her.
Then, she felt the tears begin, and this time, she could not stop them.
34
Ani
After the mostepic cry and a day full of chocolate and romance movies, during which she threw popcorn at the screen when the couples got their happily ever afters, she decided to pretend she was all right. This had always worked out for her before, so she was doing it again.
Two days later, sporting dark bags under her eyes from spending her nights tossing and turning, she was sitting at a divey café on Polk Street. It wasn’t her usual spot, because she hoped she wouldn’t run into anyone she knew. She had work to do, and wanted to get out of the house, but she didn’t want to speak to a single soul except the person behind the counter. There was a hollowness about her; she knew why it was there but there was nothing she could do about it.
Ani stared at the inbox on her tablet, and her eyes went fuzzy. The burst of emails should have excited her, but since the realization that Raffi had shut her out, she couldn’t find it within herself to feel joy in her work.Come on, Ani, you can do this, she told herself and opened an email.
It was from a couple wanting to plan their big bash at Ô. Ofcourse they did, because that was where Grace Zhang tied the knot. She scanned several more emails, and half of them wanted to hire her and have their wedding at Raffi’s winery. She hadn’t thought about this. Would she simply have to decline those weddings? Or have Sanan go to all in-person meetings at the winery so she didn’t have to?
A strong wave of nausea passed over her, thinking about how to navigate this. She felt almost dizzy, then realized no, that buzzing was from her phone.
Ani pulled it out, and there, before her, was an actual bona fide text from Raffi.
Holy shit.
She didn’t know if the text would be good or bad. An essay of anger or apology or a “don’t contact me,” but she had to know. Even if it was horrible news, she had to read it.
It said:Ani. Call me? Please.
Please.Pleasewas good.Call mewas good. Very good! He wanted to talk.
Ani quickly stood, stuffing her tablet into her bag and leaving her latte on the table, and dialed as she stepped out of the café and onto bustling Polk Street. Raffi picked up on the first ring.
“Ani,” he said, and his voice sounded like a salvation.
That was all she needed, one word, and she melted, remembering everything—the way he held her hand to his heart, his kisses, the way he told her over and over that she was worthy.
“Raffi, oh my God. I thought you’d blocked me. I tried calling—”
“You tried calling?” He sounded shocked with a mix ofanger. Not toward her, she sensed, but perhaps toward himself. “No, no, I didn’t block you. I didn’t get any of your calls. Shit. I had no idea you were trying to contact me.”
Relief hit her. He hadn’t blocked her; he didn’t even know she’d tried to call. But then…
“Why wouldn’t they go through?”
His voice was quick, desperate. “I’ll explain. What are you up to right now? Do you want to—can you meet me?”
“Yes!” she nearly shouted. “I’ll be wherever you want. I’m near my place. Where are you?”
A couple of people walking by turned toward her as she spoke. But it didn’t matter. Her heart was pounding, and she felt her blood rushing through her body, felt truly alive for the first time since the wedding.
