She appears less hurt, more confused by this. “That’s not what it sounded like from what I heard.”
“I know, but like I said yesterday, my family has no idea about my sexuality. Like, this is the first my family has any inkling at all about me being bi, and it’s a shock, so, uh—”
“So you made me the bad guy?”
Yep, that is exactly what I did.
“I can and will undo this, but it’s too much for them to handle right now. My mom, she’s coming into herself again, and I couldn’t tell her the truth, not yet. It was shitty of me to say what I did, I agree.”
“How are we supposed to be together—out, one day—when your family thinks I’m this viper who’s ‘turned you’? There’s no way.”
She looks toward the atrium like she’s about to leave. This could be it; she’ll be gone, out of my life. And seeing her here... Erebuni, this woman who inspires me to be better, who herself is so brave, this woman who makes me feel funny and cherished. Right now I don’t deserve any of her goodness, but I can’t let her slip away. I say, “I will tell them the whole truth. I want to tell them, but I need to do that over time. I’ve made no effort toward it yet, so I—I’ve got to take it slow. And once I do, I’ll tell them the truth about tonight.”
She exhales audibly, looks toward the wooden floor. She presses the toe of her shoe into a crack, then pulls it out again. She doesn’t talk, and I don’t say a word because I feel like I will ruin it. Then, after what feels like five reincarnated lifetimes, she says, “You’re right, sometimes I forget not every family is like mine.” She straightens. “You’ll do it eventually? You’ll tell them what really happened tonight? I’m not asking for right away, but—someday?”
I nod, fervent as all hell. “Yes, yes I will.”
Now she reaches for my hand, and it’s reanimated, her touch forgiving. We’re secluded over here, and I want to show her I’m not shrinking from her touch, so I move in and kiss her, and we linger there. I know this relationship, this fledgling thing, is completely worth it. I want to be with her.
Just then I hear a man’s slurred voice. “Damn, girl, is this who you’re engaged to? I thought you said it was some guy in Europe.”
It’s Raffi, holding a drink in his hand, slouched comfortably, drunkenly, with one of his buddies at his side snickering. The sight of him, hearing his words, makes me jump back like he’s thrown a knife at me. I worry there are more coming.
Erebuni shakes her head. “What? No, she’s not. This is Nareh.” Oh, Erebuni, you think he has me pegged for someone else, but he’s dead-on. I don’t say a word, not sure how to talk myself out of this situation. I want to usher Erebuni away or snap my fingers and vanish. But we’re in this damn hallway, and it would look suspect, like I was running, if I grabbed her arm and walked away from him.
And as if this couldn’t be worse, Vache, Arek, and Janette appear behind Raffi in the atrium, no doubt looking for their friend who disappeared. More witnesses to my lying, I guess. I can’t seeany other way of getting out of this. They approach hesitantly, as if they’re aware there’ssomethinghappening.
Meanwhile Raffi is unflappable. “Yeah, reporter girl. I asked you out. You told me you were engaged to a European guy or something. Thought I had a mind like an elephant, but maybe you said it was a girl after all.”
Erebuni seems mostly annoyed, like she wants me to swat this fly and move on. “Nar, what is he talking about?”
I should say I have no idea and walk away. And I know “It’s not what you think” is a terrible idea, since that phrase has gotten me nowhere. Faced with the prospect of lying yet again, when moments ago I told Erebuni that she can trust me, I just—I don’t want to lie to her. So I stammer, “It’s complicated.”
That’s when her face closes off to me, like she’s had one too many betrayals tonight, and that’s it, she is utterly done.
“I need to get some air,” she says.
She shuffles out of the hallway and edges past the crowd toward the doors outside. I don’t care if it’s desperate, I’m following her. I salvaged this once tonight, I can do it again. I won’t lose her.
I give Vache, Arek, and Janette one look, an apology I hope they’re able to read.I am as bad as you think right now, and I’m sorry for it.
“Wait, so who are you engaged to?” Raffi calls out after us, but I don’t turn around for him.
The curls on the back of Erebuni’s head bounce angrily over and over as she stalks toward the entrance, and I hear someone say hi to me, but I don’t see them, and part of me can’t believe how rude I’m being, but I don’t care. I have to follow her.
I didn’t realize how humid and sticky it had become inside until I take my first steps outside, and a flurry of cold night fogengulfs me. Erebuni is headed toward a secluded part of the school grounds, far from the banquet hall. The balls of my feet grind into my shoes as I jog behind her. Once we’re well out of earshot of the smokers congregating just outside the doors of the hall, I whisper-yell, “Erebuni!”
Finally, she does turn, and my instant of relief at not being ignored fades when I see her face.
I catch up to her, and we’re standing outside the principal’s office. There are signs in the window advertising their end-of-year hantess, already three weeks old, not yet taken down. The tape is still tight, not even curled at the edges.
She crosses her arms. “You’re engaged.”
She is both matter-of-fact and outraged at once. It’s the arch of her eyebrows, the tiny nods of her head, that tell me she is done. She sees me differently now.
I try so hard not to sound desperate, and instead cool, just explaining the facts. “No. I was—my boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, proposed to me a couple weeks ago, right before—”
“A couple weeks ago! You were engaged a couple weeks ago and never mentioned it?”
