“It means we’re finished here.”
“What? Why?” Colin asks. He sounds frantic.
“Because you cast your flawless, all-county MVP spell on me and turned my life toshit, that’s why. I should’ve left my fucking yearbook locked up in the top of my closet. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. The past isdone, Colin. Just like us. I was a fool to think this could work.”
He doesn’t respond to this.
“Goodbye, Colin. Have a nice life—or not—whatever,” I say.
I drop my phone in my purse. Then, I throw up on the waterproof floor mats in the back of Rolf’s Uber.
Colin
Fuck.
What a complete and total shitshow.
Leave it to Elle. Just when I think it can’t get any worse with her, or that there might be a light at the end of the tunnel, she manages to destroy any chance I have of finding happiness with someone else.
I can’t believe she threw a fuckingchairthrough a plate glass wall of windows.
I can’t sit still. I don’t evenblameGracie for being as mad as she is. It’s not like this is just a job; it’s her entirecareer! I may not love my work, but if Gracie somehow figured out a way to make me lose my job, I’d probably be mad too.
And to think! We werethis closeto working through it. She brought me that god-awful green drink thing today. Nobody haseverjust dropped by my office to bring me a treat.Ever.Daisy even commented about it.
“I like her, Colin,” she said. “She’s so different from Elle.”
“I know, right?”
“Yes! Shesmiledat me. She looked me in the eye. When she asked for you, she even blushed a little.”
“Really?”
“Really,” she confirmed. “This one’s a keeper, for sure.”
Daisy’s right. There’s an honest-to-god connection between me and Gracie. Nobody had to swipe right or jump through all of the awkward hoops that are synonymous with online dating. I was at that point too, where I was practically ready to swear off the idea of ever getting married again for good. Then, out of nowhere, a girl from fuckinghigh school—of all places!—hits me up, and she’s funny and sexy and kind and, well, gone.
Gone.
Fuck my life. Seriously.
I gotta move. I gotta get the hell out of the house. I throw on a pair of jeans and boat shoes. The shoes were a gift from Elle—who told me I needed more style. I never thought I’d be the kind of guy who would own a pair of boat shoes. But to be fair, I also never thought I’d be the kind of guy whose marriage only lasted six months because his wife realized she wasn’t into men anymore and left him high and dry with nothing but an itchy dick to show for it.
There’s a bar down the block from my building. It’s a dive bar, but in my opinion, every bar is a dive bar on a Tuesday night. I walk in, survey the place real quick, and grab a stool near a flat screen with a constant stream of ESPN highlights. I order a double shot of Jack Daniels. It burns my throat, but I take it like a man. I follow it up with a Jack and Coke, careful not to push myself too hard too fast. I just want to forget this whole debacle. The double shot helps. A lot.
All I wanted to do was fix it. I thought if I went to her office and talked to Elle face-to-face, I could remind her of how forgivingI’dbeen despite all the torture she put me through. But the second she saw me, she dragged me into the Vision Board conference room and just came at me like a rabid dog. She stood there, barking, drooling, spitting words at me rapid fire, trying to break through my skin and rip me to shreds, when, if you think about it,shewas the reason I had all those stories to share with Gracie in the first place.
Elle didnotlike being reminded of that.
I should reopen our divorce case and take her cheating ass to the cleaners in court.
The baseball highlight reel starts to look a little blurry by the time I order my fourth Jack and Coke. I go to take a piss and sort of miss the urinal. I get back to my seat at the bar and watch the bartender, who’s giving me a little bit of side eye and kind of looks like my father when he does that—if my father’s forearms were covered in faded tattoos and he was about three inches shorter and had a crew cut instead of a comb-over. So, yeah. Really nothing like my father at all.
When I feel the ice in the glass clink against my front teeth, he approaches. “Settle up, brother. We’re closing down.” He slides me the bill.
I try to check my phone for the time, but the numbers are dancing a little. There’s a two and a one and a seven but I have no idea what order they’re supposed to be in. I look around and I’m the only one left at the bar.
“You need me to get you a lift somewhere?” he asks.
