“I’ve been having trouble with the second manuscript.”
“What kind of trouble?”
“Just, writing it in general has been really hard. I’m struggling to come up with plausible ideas. My protagonist was a mess, and I didn’t like her at all. But I’m working through it,” I say. “I actually had a very weird thing happen.”
“What?”
Hmm. How to word this?“An old friend from high school and I have been talking, and he’s been helping me break through my writing issues.”
“Oh, is it Ronald? Such a sweet boy. Not exactly easy on the eyes, but he always really liked you.”
“No. Not Ronald. Another boy. You never met him.”
“Gracie, I remember high school. When you only have one child, all the images are burned in your brain,” she says. “Ronald was the only friend you had who was a boy.”
“That’s not true!” I say.
“What is this boy’s name?”
I inhale. “Colin Yarmouth,” I say, quickly.
“No! Grace Marie Landing, how could you?”
“How could Iwhat? Speak to the most gorgeous guy in my class?”
“You remember what that did to Nonna?”
“Mom, Nonna’s like a hundred years old. There is no way she would remember that. And I’m not telling her! I’m tellingyou!”
“And now I am an accessory.”
“This is not a crime!”
“Oh, to Nonna, this would be worse than a crime. Familial treason. Punishable by endless shaming.”
“Then don’t tell her.”
Mom sighs. “I have nothing else. What am I supposed to speak about when I see her next Wednesday? I have nothing!”
“Tell her about the gardeners.”
She is quiet for a moment. “I suppose.”
“Because they’re definitely stealing from their company. It’s totally illegal to pay landscapers in cash,” I add. “Nobodyeverdoes it. Really? They should probably be thrown in jail. Wild criminals.”
“Iknewit!” she cries.
Today’s lesson: Go with your gut when talking to Mom. Only tell her important stuff when it’s a totally done deal. Example: If Colin Yarmouth and I decide to get married one day, or if I become pregnant with a Yarmouth grandchild,thatis the appropriate time to tell Mom about it.
I should write that down somewhere so I don’t forget it next Friday.
After my leftovers (which, in case you’re wondering, only taste half as good the next day), I decide it is in everyone’s best interest if I take a shower and get dressed like an actual human person, given the fact thatit’s just after one in the afternoon. I don’t know that I’ll be able to write much more before talking to Colin about what I’ve already sent to him today, but I can certainly daydream/brainstorm about where to take my characters next.
As the water runs down my back and I revel in the scraping of my fingernails against my sudsy scalp, I think about the little switcheroo we’re pulling in the new version. Connor is the protagonist now and Presley’s the love interest. Following the expected arc of “Boy meets girl, boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back,” she’s got to do something fucked up to lose him. Not necessarily in an antagonistic way though. More like by accident.Melinda’sthe villain, not Presley. But Presley’s selfish and has questionable-enough morals that she would try to sleep with someone to make a sale. So maybe that’s it. Connor comes to Presley all vulnerable and openhearted, and Presley pushes him to buy the condo without being honest about the fact that she’s broke.
I mull this over while the bubbles gather at my feet. If Connor’s the main character now, then he needs a clear motive. I slather on the conditioner. The gentle massaging feels so good. I close my eyes and enjoy it, wondering what it would feel like to have Colin rub my head like that.
I felt like garbage after Scott chose Ilana over me, so my guess is that Connor feels impotent too. Taken a step further, maybe Connor thinks heturnedMelinda into a lesbian. Men are stupid enough to think things like that, so why should Connor be any less prone to making such a foolish assumption? That’s his motivation then. He doesn’t just want to feel attractive (which, since he’s been sleeping with a bunch of randoms for the past however-many months, he already feels)—he wants to feel macho. Tough. Strong. He wants to be a provider. We already know this because he was trying to take care of Melinda for so long. But not justanyprovider; he wants to be the world’s best provider. God’s gift to women. More specifically, to one woman: Presley, the one who got away.
