The question hangs in the air like the steam rising from my coffee cup. I adjust my grip on Ellie, who’s now trying to grab my nose.
“I’m working on a plan.”
“Working?” She doesn’t sound convinced.
“I’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about me.”
“It’s not you I’m worried about.” She crosses her arms, and I know that look. It’s the same one she gave me at Christmas last year when I wrapped up an actual lump of coal and gave it to her as a surprise gift.
“What about you?” I deflect. “What’s with the lone wolf routine? No book club besties or high school friends keeping you company? Coming to a cabin alone isn’t exactly your style.”
Something flickers across her face that could be panic orguilt before she schools her features into that air of casual dismissiveness she’s so good at with me.
“I just needed to get away for a bit.” She moves to rinse her mug in the farmhouse sink, effectively giving me her back. “Clear my head.”
“From what?”
“From life, Felix. Not everything needs a detailed explanation or can be managed with tequila.”
I study the rigid line of her shoulders, the way her fingers grip the edge of the sink. There’s definitely something she’s not telling me. “So you’ll be heading back to Skylark after the weekend?” I shift Ellie to my other arm. “Since you’re just here to clear your head and all.”
She goes still for a moment, then turns the water off with more force than necessary. “I haven’t decided yet.”
“But you have a job to get back to. The hospital?—”
“I’m taking some time off.” The words come out clipped, and it’s clear she’s in her feelings about whatever’s going on.
Piper loves her job. She’s one of those people who actually found their calling, unlike some people who just happen to be good at catching balls and running into other large men at high speeds.
“Piper—”
“I should get dressed.” She turns, not quite meeting my eyes. “I’m going to go for a hike before it gets too hot.”
I want to keep her here with Ellie and me, but she’s not mine to hold onto. I watch her walk up the stairs, but she pauses at the landing. When she looks back at me, her expression has softened.
“You know, Felix, your friends made you Ellie’s guardian for a reason.” Her voice is quiet, but the words slam into me as if she’s screamed them. “Maybe instead of looking for someone else to love her, you should figure out why.”
Piper might not know much about football, but she just landed a perfect hit, completely leveling me. By thetime I find my voice, she’s gone, leaving me standing in the gourmet kitchen with a sticky toddler in my arms and more questions than answers.
Ellie pats my face again, reminding me that I need to find time to shave, and makes a sound that might be “Fee” but sounds more like “flee.” Which feels appropriate at the moment.
Because Piper Hart just dropped a truth bomb in my lap, and every instinct I have is telling me to run. The problem is, I have no idea where I’d go.
4
PIPER
The trail windsupward through aspens and pines, and I’m grateful for the excuse to breathe hard. At least I can blame the altitude instead of the emotional tornado that’s been spinning in my chest since Felix Barlowe showed up at the cabin last night with a toddler in tow.
A child who isn’t his, as opposed to the one growing inside me.
I pause at a switchback, pressing my hand to my stomach where our baby—hisbaby—is barely the size of a raspberry. I’ve been able to blame my mild morning sickness on other things so far. But the exhaustion has been hitting me like a freight train, which is another reason I want an escape from Skylark.
That and my ex-fiancé’s smug face. Not to mention having to say goodbye to my sweet Max three weeks ago. Sadie and I adopted him a few months after our mom died. His silly puppy antics were the only thing that made me smile when my grief felt like it might swallow me whole. He was the goodest good boy up until the very end, and my childhood home has felt way too quiet without him.
I guess I can also add quitting my job in a moment of spectacular self-destruction to the list of reasons I needed to getaway. And being completely, utterly alone for the first time in my life.
Only, I’m not alone. Felix might not be the man I’d choose to have a baby with—okay, clearly some tequila-soaked part of medidchoose him that night in Denver—but he’s a bigger mess than I am right now. Which is…oddly comforting. Maybe it makes me an asshole, but not being the only person whose life is a dumpster fire tamps down the flames a bit. Between moving to a new team, the sudden guardianship, a series of nanny disasters, and the barely concealed panic that flashes in his gaze every time Ellie makes a noise he can’t interpret, his life is off the rails in a much more visible way than mine. And it has me thinking…
