“I hate this dog,” I mutter.
“No, you don’t,” Ian wheezes. “He’s your only fan in this house at the moment.”
He’s not wrong. If Ellie was old enough to understand the wayI’d just stepped in it with her “Pi”, I’m sure she’d be as disgusted with me as Sadie is.
From upstairs, I can hear the muted sound of voices. I hope to God Sadie’s able to talk Piper down from rightfully wanting to murder me. Ellie’s giggle filters through, and I think about how happy Piper makes her. Both of us, if I’m being honest.
Beast farts again.
“Seriously?” I glare down at him, but he just looks up at me with his weird little bug eyes.
“Get used to it, Felix,” Ian says, still grinning. “This is your life now.”
He’s right.
My life is a woman upstairs who hates me, a toddler who isn’t mine even though she feels like she is, a brother who’s enjoying my suffering way too much, plus a flatulent chicken-dog using my lap as his personal throne.
And somewhere in all this chaos, there’s a baby. Mine and Piper’s.
I hope I can figure out how to be the man they both need before I screw this up beyond repair.
Beast shifts again.
“Don’t you dare,” I warn him as I brace myself.
He dares.
“That’s it.” I place him on the floor, and he trots over to Ian, who immediately scoops him up.
“Come here, buddy. Daddy doesn’t mind your gas.” Ian scratches the dog’s head. “Some people can’t appreciate a good fart.”
“There’s nothing good about that.” I wave a hand in front of my face. “That dog needs an exorcist.”
“That dog…” Sadie’s voice comes from the stairs. “Can hear you.”
My sister-in-law doesn’t look quite as murder-y as before as she approaches, which I’m taking as a good sign.
“Is Piper okay?” I ask.
“She will be.” Sadie’s expression softens slightly. “She just needs some time.”
“I screwed up.”
“Yes, you did.” She moves to collect Beast from Ian. “You can also fix it.”
“What do I do?”
“Give her a little space. She needs to figure out her situation without anyone trying to rescue her.”
“Space is also what we’re going to give you,” Ian adds as he stands and follows Sadie toward the door. I kind of want to beg them to stay, but that makes me seem like a huge wimp. “Good luck, man.”
“I’m sorry, Sadie,” I call to my sister-in-law.
She turns and gives me a sympathetic smile, which I also consider a good sign. “I’m not the one you need to apologize to. But, pro tip, Felix. Next time you want to propose to someone, maybe don’t lead with ‘your job can be as my wife.’”
“Noted,” I say weakly.
“You’ll be fine,” Ian assures me, but I’m not certain either of us believes it. “But when you’re ready to try again, run the proposal by me first.”
