The question catches me off guard. “What do you mean?”
“I mean...” She gives me a sideways look. “You don’t even like him. Or at least, I thought you didn’t. Why didn’t you come home when he got here?”
I don’t answer right away. The truth is complicated and messy, and I’m not sure I can explain it in a way that makes sense.
“Piper. What’s going on?” Sadie’s studying me more closely now. “If that scene in the kitchen this morning was any indication?—”
My face flames. “It’s not…we’re not…the baby is Felix’s.”
Sadie stops dead in her tracks, staring at me with wide eyes. I suddenly remember being thirteen years old and getting caught egging the math teacher’s house with my friends. I seriously considered running away and joining the circus instead of having to face my sister, and the urge now is just as strong. Except I have no talents that would be applicable in the circus ring.
“That can’t be true,” Sadie says, sounding even more stunned than she looks, if that’s possible.
“The baby is Felix’s,” I repeat, and now that I’ve said it, I can’t stop. “We ran into each other in Denver in April. I was at a bachelorette party, he was celebrating signing with the Grizzlies, and we...” I gesture helplessly. “We were drunk. We slept together. And I got pregnant.”
Sadie’s mouth opens and closes several times. “But you said… When you called the book club meeting to tell us, you said it was a one-night stand with someone you’d never see again.”
“I know, and I lied.” I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly cold despite the warm morning. “I’m sorry, Sadie. I couldn’t tell you the truth. Not then.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m a terrible sister!” The words burst out of me. “You gave up everything to take care of me when Mom died, and I didn’t appreciate it. I was embarrassed by your dog training business. I was a brat, and then I got engaged to Bradley—the guy you had a crush on—and I just assumed you’d be fine with it and I ignored the fact that he’s a complete asshat and now?—”
“Piper, stop.”
Only I can’t. The dam is broken, and the words just keep on flowing. “I’m pregnant by Ian’s brother, and I know you guys are trying to get pregnant and it’s not… You shouldn’t have to support me through one more thing, Sads. You’ve done too much already, and you should hate me for?—”
She grabs my shoulders, her grip firm. “Stop talking and listen to me.”
I snap my mouth shut, blinking back tears. Beast trots over and headbutts my shin.
“You were twelve when Mom died,” she says, her voice gentle. “We both lost her.”
“But you had to raise me?—”
“And I wouldn’t change that for anything.” Her eyes are fierce now. “Yes, it was hard. Yes, I gave up some things. But I never resented you, Piper. Not once. You were—you are—mysister. My family. Taking care of you wasn’t a sacrifice. It was a privilege.”
The tears spill over, and I don’t bother to wipe them away. “I wasn’t any better once I grew up. I’m still selfish. Bradley?—”
“Is a dick,” Sadie cuts in. “Yeah, I had a crush on him in high school. A crush, Pip. But he did us both a favor by showing his true colors before you married him. I would have figured it out eventually, too, if we’d dated. He’s not a good person.”
“What about the baby?” My voice cracks. “You and Ian are trying, and here I am, knocked up from a one-night stand.”
“First of all,” Sadie says, “I’m going to be an aunt. Do you have any idea how excited I am?”
“But you’re not?—”
“Ian and I will add to our family when the time is right. Sure, sometimes it’s frustrating.” She swipes at her own eyes. “But that has nothing to do with you or your baby. We aren’t keeping score. I’m not going to sit around being bitter because you got pregnant and we haven’t yet. That’s not how love works.”
“I just...” I shake my head, trying to find the words. “I feel like everything I touch turns into a mess. First, I was engaged to a guy you liked, then I got myself pregnant by Ian’s brother?—”
“You’re not a mess.” She pulls me into a hug. “And even if you were, I’d love you anyway.”
“You can’t deny that I was a brat.”
“So are most kids, and they don’t have to deal with losing their only parent. You need to stop carrying this guilt around like it’s a badge of honor. You were allowed to be a mess. You’re still allowed to make mistakes without thinking you owe me some kind of debt.”
“But I do owe you?—”
