“I’m not fucking obsessed,” I growl. So what if I haven’t been able to get her—and since April, that one night we spent together—out of my mind? I’m not about to admit it to Tyler, but I’d be lying if I told you I haven’t thought about what might happen if she did turn up naked in my bed.
Even if joining her there means enduring the wrath of my olderbrother. Ian was built for monogamy, even when he thought he wasn’t, so he wouldn’t appreciate me blowing off steam with the woman he now considers his little sister.
Me, on the other hand…I was all about commitment. Until committing to the wrong women resulted in my heart being trampled not once, not twice, but three times. First in high school, then college, and most recently with Veronica Bolton, the woman I thought would be my partner in starting our own little football dynasty of baby Barlowes. That dream was crushed when I found her getting railed by my teammate and supposed friend, Cincinnati’s marquee quarterback, Russ Farmington.
Russ and I were magic on the field. We had the kind of connection the pundits love to talk about. But it all fell apart last season. Every time I saw Russ’s hands on the ball, I also saw his hands all over Ronnie. So when the opportunity in Denver presented itself, I didn’t hesitate.
A thump overhead interrupts my thoughts. What if Ellie fell? Or Piper fainted again? That shit scared the hell out of me yesterday.
My chest tightens, the protective instinct I can’t seem to tamp down flaring. It’s the kind of caveman-coded shit Piper would rake me over the coals for, but I can’t stop the word that pulses through my veins.Mine.
Only Piper and Ellie aren’t mine. Not to protect or keep or anything.
“Focus,” Tyler murmurs as he studies me. “You still here?”
“Yeah. Let’s keep going,” I say and grab the weights again.
“How much longer, Felix?” Tyler asks as I grunt through another set.
“At least thirty more minutes.”
“I mean, how much longer are you staying in the game?” He inclines his head. “You don’t have to put yourself through any of this.”
“You know I’ve got something to prove this season.”
“What more could you possibly need to prove? You’ve got Super Bowl rings, money, a clear path to Canton and the Hall of Fame.”
“I need to show everyone I can do it without Russ.” Most importantly, I need to show myself.
“The magic between you and Farmington was mutual.” Tyler shakes his head. “He and Ronnie did you dirty, but that’s on them. It has nothing to do with you or your ability to?—”
“To what?” The weights I’m holding hit the floor with a bone-jarring clang. “Keep my girlfriend happy so she doesn’t crawl into bed with my friend?”
“To catch a ball and make plays and be the fucking hero on the field you seem to think you have to be. You’re more than the game, Felix, and there’s life after it. Look at your brother. Ian’s doing great.”
“Ian had a reason to leave.” My brother chose to retire in order to take a more active role in parenting his now thirteen-year-old daughter. “Riva needed him.”
“You’ve got reasons, too.”
“Name one.”
“Ellie.” Tyler says her name softly, but it’s like being smacked upside the head with a two-by-four.
“Fuck you,” I whisper, “for bringing her into this. You know it’s not permanent. I’m going to find her a real family.”
“Troy made you her godfather for a reason.” His dark eyes hold steady on me.
“Yeah, because I’m rich and generous. A fun honorary uncle.”
“That wasn’t?—”
“Neither of them could have possibly considered an accident that would take them both. Nobody leaves their kid to the funcle.”
“Troy and Julie chose you.”
“They didn’t think it through.” I scrub a hand over my jaw. “No parent believes they’re going to leave their toddler an orphan.Troy probably figured I was the backup plan they’d never have to utilize.”
He throws me a towel. “Good parents prepare for worst-case scenarios. And they still picked you, Felix.”
