While she reads over my bucket list, I start to get nervous. Maybe I should have just used my mom’s list and left it at that.
When Claire looks up, she smiles.
“The last three are dumb, right?” I wince and prepare for her feedback. Claire is never cruel, but I trust her to give it to me straight.
“No, I love it.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” She laughs incredulously. “This is so fun. I love that you’re going to do your mom’s list. When are you going to pick apples? I used to love going out to the old farm in the fall.”
“They closed, but there has to be another place around here.”
She looks back to the paper and smiles. “I cannot wait to hear about number fifteen.”
Go skinny-dipping.
“So you don’t think the whole bucket list thing is cringey?”
“What? No, of course not. Who said that?” She asks like she’s ready to fight anyone who would utter such nonsense. God, I love her.
“No one. Me, I guess.” I take the list back from her and reread all seventeen things. “Vaughn saw it by accident, and he seemed very perplexed by the whole concept.”
Claire snort-laughs in response. “This kind of fun is sort of out of his wheelhouse.”
I nod, though I don’t feel as sure of that as I did. I mean, who orders lemonade and a chocolate milkshake and doesn’t like fun? I can’t quite figure him out.
“How’s that going anyway?”
“Tutoring Vaughn?” I ask.
“Yeah.”
“Fine.” I shrug one shoulder.
Claire raises one eyebrow. “Fine?”
I do my best to remain chill on the outside, but on the inside I’m squirming. I don’t even know why. Claire and Vaughn are over, and she already knows I’m helping him. But admitting that he’s not as bad as I thought somehow feels like admitting too much.
“Better than fine. We’ve been getting along, actually,” I say. Every word out of my mouth has Claire’s smile widening. “Stop smiling at me like that. He’s still the worst. Just, you know, not all the time.”
“This makes me so happy.”
“It does. Why?”
“Because Vaughn and I are good, and now we can all hang out without you making it awkward.”
“I’m the one making it awkward?” I huff a laugh. “I’m sorry, but he is the one who made it that way by being all broody and quiet.”
She keeps laughing quietly.
“Okay, maybe I was still a little annoyed with him for how he treated you. I can’t help it. You’re my best friend.”
And he’s just so big and silent. I think I was always aware of him on a subconscious level, but now he’s in my space more often I can’t seem to make sense of the way he makes me feel.
“I would feel the same way if I were in your shoes, but if you’re holding on to that annoyance because you think I need you to, I don’t. I’m good. Honest.”
I nod slowly, wondering if I’m still holding his relationship with Claire against him or if it’s just the way he annoys me. “He did admit that he wasn’t the best boyfriend, so at least he seems to be more self-aware. Not that it stops girls from trying to get his attention.”
