Dad sets his laptop on the coffee table and stands. “We’ll leave next Thursday. The showcase runs through the weekend. Skills testing on Friday followed by a tournament.”
“Wait. We’re going?” I ask. We’ve done showcases and camps before, usually in the summer when it doesn’t interfere with school or soccer here. Club teams are already formed and practicing. The only reason I haven’t started back yet is because my team’s coach gave everyone the week off in case they were going to watch the State Championship game.
“Yes. It’ll be a good test for you to see where you’restacking up against your peers outside of the district. There’s a big world beyond Frost Lake.” He looks at me like he’s daring me to disagree.
Of course I know there’s a big world out there, but after all his talks of focus and his acting disappointed, this feels like a big leap.
“The homecoming game is Friday.”
Dad looks at me with confusion. “You have an opportunity here. Don’t waste it. Besides, you don’t even like football.”
It’s true. A month ago, I wouldn’t have batted an eye at missing it, but that was before… I swallow the lump that threatens to form in my throat. Before Lacey.
I can already picture her, decked out in blue and white, wearing the biggest smile as she cheers on the sideline. The image makes my stomach drop.
I guess it doesn’t matter now anyway. She isn’t mine and there’s no reason for me to go.
“Sounds great,” I say.
* * *
The following day at school, I’m hanging with the guys before first period. I’m not really keeping up with the conversation, but I smile or laugh when everyone else does.
When Claire arrives, Austin angles his body to let her into the circle between us. She glances up at me.
“Hey,” she says.
I tip my head to her in greeting.
“How’ve you been?” she asks. The rest of the group has jumped right back into conversation and isn’t listening to us.
“Good,” I say automatically.
She gives me a knowing smile.
I downgrade. Good is a stretch. “I’m fine.”
“Yes, Lacey has been very ‘fine’ too.” Her smile turns sympathetic. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out.”
“Yeah, me too.”
She angles her body, so she has her back to the rest of the circle. I know Claire well enough to read her expression, and right now she’s angry. “Then why didn’t they?”
Shit. I walked right into that trap.
I consider my words carefully. Claire is Lacey’s best friend. She’s going to have her back instead of mine, but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t get where I’m coming from. “You of all people should understand.”
“This isn’t me and you. Lacey is different from us. She’s nicer. She believes in people with her whole heart. And when she falls, she falls hard.”
My throat tightens. “I know. Trust me, I know. I just don’t have anything to give. If I did, she’s who I’d choose every time.”
Claire’s brows rise, and she studies me for a beat, as if she’s surprised by my admission.
“Wow,” she says finally.
The truth makes me feel raw inside, and Claire continues staring at me until I shift uncomfortably.
“Anyway, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt her. I thought I could do things differently this time, but I guess I was fooling myself.”
