‘You’re a lifesaver,’ Adrienne says. ‘Sorry, but I’ve only got fifteen minutes. I’m covering for Penny.’
‘Where is she?’
‘Morning sickness again. She’s having a tough time with this second pregnancy, poor thing. But I’ve never been more enviousof why someone has called in ill. Fingers crossed I’ll soon be the one vomiting granola and moaning about my vanishing waistline.’
Adrienne snaps her banana in two and slides half to Melissa. She doesn’t eat it. All she can think of is how she has found herself torn between the two people she cares about most in the world, striving to please them both in starkly different ways.
‘Have you heard how Damon got on with his appointment?’ Adrienne asks as she chews.
The mention of his name raises the hairs on the back of her neck. ‘It’s not until five p.m.’
‘It should be a walk in the park, shouldn’t it? He only needs to have a wank behind a closed door and hand a pot of sperm to a receptionist. It’s a busman’s holiday.’
Melissa picks off tell-tale flakes of almond from her sleeve.
‘He hasn’t been around much lately,’ Adrienne continues. ‘Is he okay?’ When Melissa looks down at the table and hesitates a beat too long, Adrienne presses her. ‘What are you not telling me? He hasn’t changed his mind, has he? Oh God, has he found himself a girlfriend? That would be the worst possible timing. How many women would be happy to learn their new boyfriend is fathering a child with another woman? Let alone their ex-wife’s girlfriend.’
‘No, no,’ Melissa says. ‘It’s not like that. I think he’s been going through something recently. Ever since the accident, he’s been struggling.’
‘With what?’
‘With where he is in life,’ Melissa replies vaguely. ‘With what he wants.’
Adrienne frowns. ‘He’s a bit young for a midlife crisis, isn’t he? Does he still want a baby?’
‘Yes.’
‘And you?’
‘Me what?’
‘Do you still want a baby? Because Damon isn’t the only one who hasn’t been himself lately.’
Her girlfriend’s perceptive nature shouldn’t surprise Melissa. She’d hoped she’d masked how she’s been coping –notcoping – with the two, very separate demands of the people she loves. Apparently not.
‘You barely comment on the Instagram posts I forward to you,’ Adrienne continues. ‘I suggest baby names and you don’t seem to like any of them. I can’t even look at changing tables or car seats without you telling me I’m moving too fast.’ She reaches out her hand to take Melissa’s. ‘I know you’re more of a realist than I am, and I’m aware there are no guarantees IVF will work. But I need you to meet me halfway and be open to discussing the future more. I want to enjoy this experience, but I’m struggling because you won’t let me.’
‘Are you absolutely positive now is the right time to be trying for a baby?’ The question falls from Melissa’s mouth so suddenly, it even catches her off guard.
Adrienne withdraws her hand. ‘So you have changed your mind,’ she says flatly.
‘No, no, of course not,’ Melissa backtracks. ‘We’ve talked about starting a family ever since we got together.’
‘Is this like when you and Da—’
‘No.’ That was a conversation they had soon after they first met and it’s not one that Melissa wants to rehash. ‘I’m only asking because we’re both currently working such long hours to build our careers. Eventually you want to reach consultancy level and we’ve spoken about how one day I might like to explore positions in the military.’
‘And none of that has to stop because we have a family,’ Adrienne counters. ‘Anything is possible if we’re determined.’
Melissa wishes she’d kept her thoughts to herself. The last thing she wants is for her girlfriend to begin doubting her commitment.
An awkward silence emerges. Adrienne is the first to break it.
‘I know what this is really about, Mel,’ she says. ‘I’m not an idiot. I’ve overheard you on the phone to Damon telling him you’re terrified and asking him what happens “if you can’t do it”. It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to work out what you’re referring to.’
Melissa’s stomach churns. Adrienne knows. Somehow, she has discovered Melissa and Damon’s supercharged game of Russian roulette.
‘Ade, I’m really sorry,’ she begins. ‘I shouldn’t have—’
