‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘That’s neat.’
Then her attention was diverted to the girl behind me and staff ushered me away.
I was sick in an alley as soon as I left the shop. Margot had obliterated everything I had loved. But I did not exist in her memory.
What else could I do?
The years that followed were beyond difficult. I’d lost my parents, Drew was living away from home, and my aunt and uncle were discussing returning to their native Pakistan after relocating here for our sake. I had nobody and nothing. I saw a counsellor, but instead of being honest about my feelings, I told her what I thought she wanted to hear. Then, just as I reached my lowest point, standing on the cliff edge at Beachy Head and giving serious consideration as to whether I wanted to live anymore, my mum spoke to me. She gave me a purpose. She steered me towards a path that would redefine my life. And when her work was complete, other passengers joined me. No matter what it took and who might fall to the wayside, I promised myself that, one day, Margot would know who I was. Then she would die and I could get on with the rest of my life.
But now I’ve gotten to know her. And while she has many, many faults, she is no longer the devil who haunted a six-year-old’s dreams. She is a human being – a deeply flawed one, but one capable of kindness too. I want to hate her with the same passion I once did, but it’s not in me anymore. I no longer want to be that person. Even if she did hurt Liv, be it by accident or on purpose, I don’t want to go back to how I was. It’s exhausting, being so many people at once.
‘So what are you going to do about her?’ Drew asks.
I clench my fists to stop my hands from trembling and clear my throat. ‘Nothing,’ I say. ‘Liv can choose her own battles if that’s what she wants. But I’m done.’
‘So, what?’ he says, looking around him. ‘Everything we’ve worked for, putting our lives on hold, moving here, reinventing ourselves, pretending we’re a married couple, it’s all been for nothing?’
I swallow hard but say nothing, waiting for either a physical or a verbal assault. Neither happens. Instead, he kicks his chair backwards and it falls to the ground with a clatter as he storms out of the room.
November
Bonfire Night
Chapter 63
Anna
I rifle through the odds-and-ends drawer, searching for where I might have left my red woollen gloves. The BBC weather app warns it’ll drop to zero degrees tonight, so I want to wrap up warm for the village Bonfire Night.
I need to leave the house in about an hour. I check my phone to see if I’ve missed Margot’s response to my texts but I’ve yet to hear from her. The last message she sent was just after 9 p.m. yesterday. We had a loose arrangement for me to call at hers. She offered to come here, but I don’t want her anywhere near Drew at the moment. I don’t want to be around him either. Not that he’s been here very often since our confrontation almost two weeks ago. Sometimes days pass when he doesn’t return. I have no idea where he goes or who he’s with and I’m past caring. I’m less on edge when he’s missing.
I know that I need to confront Margot about her involvement in Liv’s accident, but I’m putting it off. Because if I do, I know that Ioana will have to kill her. It’s been years since her death and I’m out of practice. The aftermath drains me of everything and I don’t know if I have the strength to fight back one more time.
I suddenly remember when I last saw my gloves. I wore them as I swept leaves from the driveway at the weekend. They were wet and dirty so I put them in the washing machine. I rummage around inside it and find them along with some of Drew’s damp clothes. So he has been here. He must have returned and put a load on when I was out.
As I remove them, a silver-coloured key falls from the pocket of his overalls and clinks as it hits the utility room’s floor tiles. I take a closer look at it and draw a sharp intake of breath when I spot a concave mark from where I once purposely jabbed the soldering iron against it. It was to distinguish it from all the other keys in the drawer. It’s one that nobody else is supposed to know I have.
I let out a gasp when a shadow moves over me.
I whirl around to meet Drew’s glare. He looks at the key in my hand and I take a step back.
‘What’s this?’ I ask, trying to mask my unease.
‘Looks like a key.’
‘A key to what?’
‘Buckingham Palace?’ he deadpans. ‘Hogwarts? You tell me.’
We glare at each other and I make a snap decision not to play games.
‘Why do you have Margot’s front door key?’
‘Shouldn’t the question be why doyouhave Margot’s front door key?’ he replies.
‘You know why.’
‘Ah that’s right. To break in when she’s not there and move stuff around her house so she thinks she’s losing the plot.’
