Kevin had left no will and owned very few possessions, but on his parents’ suggestion, she would return her rental car and take Kevin’s old four-by-four on the journey she’d planned down the east coast of Australia. ‘It’ll be like he’s with you,’ Dan had told her. She planned to stay in backpacking hostels rather than hotels, so she could meet other people her age and experience the kind of travelling she had missed out on when her uni friends had gone to America.
Jade estimated five weeks would be long enough to see what she wanted to see, then she’d drive back towards Victoria, drop Kevin’s truck off and bid one last farewell to his family before returning to England. Only once she was home, she wouldn’t simply go back to her formerlife – she could never do that now – she would begin a brand new one. If Kevin’s death had taught her anything, it was that life should be lived, not viewed from afar.
Mark’s refusal to acknowledge her since the funeral wounded her. She’d offered his parents support and a shoulder to cry on whenever they needed it, but she and Mark had not shared a moment since those first few minutes after Kevin’s death.
Being in his proximity was a Herculean task. Every time she saw him, or even sensed his immediacy, she had to hold back the urge to confront him – or throw herself at him. The fireworks were still there when she looked at him. At certain times, like when he was lifting bales of hay for the cows or finishing the day with an early dip in the pool, and when she thought he wasn’t looking, she’d snatch a glimpse of his firm frame and strong muscles.
Jade too had grown accustomed to going for a cooling swim before heading to bed – a treat she knew she’d miss when she left the farm to begin her travels. And, she had to admit to herself, she’d taken to her nightly swims in the hope that she’d bump into Mark, although this hadn’t happened yet. On this particular night, as she turned underwater to begin her fifth length, his figure at the other side of the pool caught her attention.
Mark stood under an open parasol, watching her every stroke. She stopped and wiped the chlorine from her eyes in case she was imagining his gaze. She stood on her tiptoes in the middle of the pool, and the two stared at each other in silence until Jade could no longer control herself.
‘What?’ she shouted. ‘What do you want from me?’
‘Nothing,’ Mark replied, a surprised look on his face.
‘Then why are you staring at me?’
‘I’m not.’
‘You barely talk to me for days, you walk past me and ignore me, you leave the room as soon as I enter. ClearlyI’ve offended you and now you’re standing there watching me swim. You’re doing my head in, man. So I’ll ask you again, what do you want from me?’
Mark paused and stared at her intently, then opened his mouth as if to speak but stopped himself. He turned to walk away but again stopped himself. She watched as he pulled his T-shirt off over his head and threw it to the ground. He dived in and swam towards her, stopping inches from her waist. He cocked his head to one side and kissed her, tentatively at first, but then more fervently.
Jade felt dizzy as Mark’s lips touched hers, and try as she might, she couldn’t close her eyes because she wanted to see his longing. She kissed him back with an equal measure of passion, her arms gripping him tightly and her fingertips fizzling like sparklers as they ran up and down his back.
When they finally separated, Jade took a small step backwards and looked him in the eye. ‘Why now?’ she asked. ‘Why after all these weeks?’
‘Because my parents said you’re leaving.’ Mark ran his hands through his wet hair. ‘And I couldn’t let you go without knowing what I was going to spend the rest of my life missing.’
Before Jade could answer, Mark turned and swam back to the edge of the pool, lifted himself out and returned to the house, leaving her alone.
With no idea what just happened, Jade closed her eyes and slowly let herself sink to the bottom.
Chapter 74
NICK
‘How long have you known you’re pregnant?’ Nick asked, trying to keep the tone of his voice measured.
He paced the length of his former apartment with his arms folded while Sally remained on the sofa, wearing an oversized woollen jumper and covering her stomach with her hands.
‘I found out a couple of weeks ago,’ she replied quietly.
‘Why didn’t you say anything before now? You’ve had plenty of opportunity to.’
‘What was I supposed to say? “Oh, Nick, by the way, I know you have a boyfriend now but I’m pregnant with your baby”?’
‘But why wait to tell me until just before I go to New Zealand? It’s almost as if you want to keep me here.’
Sally glared at her ex-fiancé. ‘Fuck off, Nick! The world doesn’t revolve around you or your sodding love life. This isn’t about you; it’s about this thing growing inside me. I knew I shouldn’t have said anything.’
‘Then why did you?!’
‘Because I don’t know if I can do this on my own. Because I wish I was a stronger person but I’m not.Because before I make my decision I thought you had a right to know.’
‘Made what decision?’
‘Oh, come on Nick, you’re not stupid. You know what I mean. I don’t know if I either want or can deal with having and raising a child alone.’
