‘I only decided a few days ago,’ whispered Jade. ‘I … I’m … sorry.’
‘Wow – do you know that in the entire time we’ve known each other you’ve never said sorry?’ Kevin teased.
‘It’s not a word I’m used to.’
‘I’m kidding, and you shouldn’t be the one who’s apologising, it should be me. I haven’t been honest with you about everything. Well, I guess that’s pretty obvious. There’s no easy way to say this Jade but I have lymphoma. It’s now at stage four which means … well, it ain’t good.’
Jade found it difficult to maintain eye contact with him. She couldn’t make the connection between the man she had fallen in love with by telephone and text message and the sliver of a person standing before her.
‘I was diagnosed a year ago, before you and I were Matched,’ he continued. ‘I wanted to know if my perfect girl was out there somewhere and a few months later it turned out to be you. And I did consider leaving it at that and not giving out my contact details – it wouldn’t be fair on you – but it’s human nature to be curious and, when you spend so many hours of the day stuck in hospital or in this house like I do, it’s all you can think about. I really couldn’t stop myself from wanting to find out more about you. It was selfish and I’m sorry.’
Jade nodded and conceded that if their roles were reversed, she too would want to know everything about her Match. ‘How much …’ her voice trailed off, deciding what she was about to ask was insensitive, even for her.
‘How much longer do I have left?’ Kevin continued for her. ‘Probably not much more than a month or two.’
‘What about the photos you sent me?’
‘They were taken last summer.’
‘And this is why you didn’t want to Skype or FaceTime? A few minutes ago I was going to tear strips off you. I was convinced you were married with kids.’
‘Ha!’ he laughed. ‘I don’t reckon I’ve got a Buckley’s chance at marriage.’
Jade suddenly realised it meant the same for her and she began to feel very, very alone. She might eventually go on to fall in love with someone, but it wouldn’t be withthe one. It wouldn’t be with Kevin.
She offered him a sympathetic smile but no hollow words; there was little she could say that would make the slightest bit of difference.
‘Listen,’ Kevin continued, ‘I understand if you want to leave, I honestly do. Because if I were in your shoes, I’m ashamed to say I’d probably seriously consider it. You didn’t sign up for this.’
Jade gritted her teeth and curled her toes up inside her trainers. She wouldn’t permit herself to become upset in front of him.
‘Neither did you, Kevin,’ she replied. ‘So if you don’t mind, I’ll hang around a little longer so we can get to know each other in person. How does that sound?’
Kevin gave her a nod. He could barely suppress the grin that was spreading across his face.
Chapter 29
NICK
‘I thought you’d quit the smokes?’
‘I have. Well, I had. It’s just been a … peculiar … few days.’
‘What’s wrong, is it the S&D account?’
Nick paused to take in the view of Birmingham’s city centre from his spot on the office building’s fire escape. He could hear the warning bells of the trams making their way up New Street, while below him rush hour commuters bustled along Corporation Street towards the train station.
Rhian had been leaning against the railings puffing on her vaporiser when Nick appeared. He too had an e-cigarette in his desk drawer, but today wasn’t a day for half measures.
He’d promised Sally he’d given up as a New Year’s resolution. It would be another lie to add to the rapidly growing list. He’d also promised that he was still 100 per cent sure Sally was the only one for him, that they could live happily ever after and that he hadn’t given Alex a second thought since he’d met him. In reality, he was all Nick had thought about.
‘Yes, it’s the S&D account,’ Nick told Rhian. ‘The MD is getting confused about the message he’s trying to get across. It’s such a ball-ache.’
‘Well, start channelling your inner Don Draper because you’ll need to pull something out of the bag.’
In his three years at the agency as a junior copywriter, Nick had yet to be beaten by an account he’d been assigned to manage, even though he worked on many obscure products he hadn’t previously heard of or even dreamed had existed. His work in making market leaders of a new yeast infection cream and a herbal remedy for erectile dysfunction had won him the office nickname of The Genital Giant, which quietly amused him. He prided himself on being able to sell anything to anyone with a smart tag line, but this week he’d been too preoccupied to make a pubic lice lotion palatable.
He’d tried his hardest not to allow his mind to wander towards Alex, and had come close to convincing himself that the emotions he’d stirred in him were imaginary. But while Nick made a living persuading consumers to buy into something they hadn’t realised they needed, he knew he couldn’t fool himself. He had trulyfeltsomething and it wasn’t like anything he had ever experienced before. And he was convinced Alex had too.
