It would be nothing for the Elders to eliminate him. His research would die with him.
I brushed my hand against his worriedly. “When you debut synthetic radiance, people are going to want to hurt you.”
“I know that,” he said, infuriatingly calm. I didn’t understand how he could be so nonchalant. He wasn’t like me—he wasn’t a killer. He wouldn’t be able to defend himself if the House came after him.
“We have to get more people on your side,” I said. “You’ll be safer when we have more allies. Especially other Children of Industry who can protect you.”
Julian hummed. “It won’t be easy. Think about how comforting rules are. How good it feels to follow them.”
Spoken like the House of Industry’s most decorated pupil.
“Evenyoustopped following the rules,” I pointed out.
“Because I craved knowledge more than order,” he said simply.
“Julian thinks he’s above rules,” Ezra added.
“Let’s agree that neither of you is particularly good at doing what’s expected of you,” I said, exasperated.
Ezra snorted. “Says the girl who jumped off a perfectly good train.”
I grinned despite my worry, glad to be here in the woods with two strange rule breakers, as opposed to back at the House of Industry, trying to explain my failings to the Elders. Or working hard at a Mission, my eyes clouded and my radiance poisoning the land and the people around me.
“What if all of us stopped?” I asked. At Julian’s questioning look, I added, “Stopped using our radiance. Altogether.”
Julian and Ezra exchanged a look. I recognized it as another ghost of a conversation that had happened long before I’d ever come to Frostbrook.
Julian frowned at some distant point in the forest. “I tried to stop.”
I stared at him, unable to imagine the House of Industry’s top student refusing to use his own radiance.
“It made him sick,” Ezra volunteered, sounding pleased to have the opportunity to disclose a secret.
“You did it in Frostbrook?”
“Of course,” Julian said. “I had freedom to experiment with no oversight. That’s why I requested a transfer to the Frostbrook Mission. That along with the relevant proximity to Cascade.”
“So, if we all quit releasing radiance, what?” I asked. “We’d get sick? Surely that’s better than killing people.”
Julian adjusted his pack. His knuckles were pale where he held the straps.
“He almost died.” Ezra no longer sounded pleased. “He would have died. From what I could tell, his organs began to shut down. He didn’t get better until I convinced him to end his foolhardy endeavor.”
“Admittedly, it wasn’t one of my more thoughtfully considered experiments,” Julian said.
I shivered, trying to imagine my radiance killing me from the inside. “Why didn’t they tell us about this at the House? Don’t they know?”
“I’m certain the Elders know. But I’m not sure everyone else knows.” Julian’s shoulders rose and fell with a quick sigh. “Professor Dunn never mentioned it.”
A pang of longing surprised me. I missed Professor Dunn. If she were here, she’d probably be able to tell all of us exactly what to do. “Why would she have mentioned it?”
Julian smiled faintly. “It was Professor Dunn who connected me with Maggie Taylor in Cascade.”
“With a scientist?” I asked, startled. “Did she know you were … that you’re like this?”
“Rebellious?” Julian asked with a small smile. “She did.”
Be yourself,Professor Dunn had told me. Had she known me better than I’d known myself? The thought warmed me, the smallest ember ofhope in my chest. I smiled, touching the hollow of my throat where I’d worn my apprentice scarf before casting it away.
