“Feel? How?”
“When you allow the radiance to become an extension of yourself, it functions like an insect’s feelers. You’ve done it with machines without realizing it, I’m sure. I’m gently sealing the bleeding veins by burning them.”
“Like feelers? I’ve never heard of that,” I said, trying not to gag. The smell of singed flesh brought back the memory of Marshall’s screams and Ike’s messy death.
“Because no one’s ever taught you. And you never asked.”
His criticism stung. But he was right. I’d been a curious student, but only within the framework of Progress. I’d been so focused on being a good Conductor that I’d never asked the right questions.
“Even if I had, where would that have gotten me?”
Julian laughed. It was a surprisingly gentle sound. “You make a good point. All my questioning has led me to the same place. This stars-forsaken riverbank.”
Ezra’s fingers twitched, but he didn’t move, and within a second, the fine thread of radiance from Julian’s fingers extinguished. Using his sleeve, Julian wiped up Ezra’s blood. Only a small amount continued to trickle from the wound. Nothing like before.
“Will that save him?” I asked.
“I believe it will. And being out here in the woods ought to help him, too. The literature on Animators says—”
“Theliterature?” My voice was too loud, sputtering and incredulous. “You’re supposed to be dead, and now you’re talking about Animator literature like that’s perfectly normal reading material. None of this makes sense. And we don’t even know if he’s going to wake up again!”
To his credit, Julian allowed me to finish my distraught rant before he gently stated, “You’re cold. And you need to get warm. Sit beside him.”
Scowling, I shifted to sit hip to hip with Ezra. “There.”
Julian studied me, frowning. “We need to keep moving as soon as he can walk. I may need to dry your clothes with radiance.”
“With radiance?” I looked at my scraped, dirty hands. “What if you set them on fire?”
“Then you’ll be naked,” Julian said, busy using a large stick to push the burning kindling closer to me and Ezra. He added more wood, moving with far more ease than I would have expected. This wasn’t his first time in the wilderness. He looked as comfortable in homespun, common clothing as he had in his stuffy uniform. Did I know him at all?
When he glanced over and found me silently glaring, he went on: “Drying wet clothes is not as difficult as you’re making it out to be. I’ll coat your garments with a fine layer of radiance until they’re dry. Feelers. Like I told you.”
I looked down at Ezra. Even unconscious, his brow was furrowed with discomfort. “Are we hurting him by using radiance near him?”
Julian paused, a stick held in one hand as if he’d lost track of what he was doing. He frowned thoughtfully. “I’ve been trying to determine the mechanics of the synergy between our radiance and his magic. I’m sure you’ve noticed he doesn’t respond well to being startled by radiance. If he consciously welcomes it, it doesn’t clash with his magic. When he’s unconscious … I suppose we’ll have to see.”
“And how exactly did you discover all that?” I asked as pointedly as possible.
Julian’s breath stuttered. Even in the dim firelight, I could tell he was blushing. “I don’t think the nature of my research is relevant to this conversation,” he said.
“I think it’s pretty relevant.” When he remained stubbornly silent, I asked the next question on my mind. The one that felt like a livid bruise. “What about everyone else? Is radiance killing people?”
His gaze found mine, and it was so solemn, my breath hitched. “There’s nuance to it. Variables like proximity, length of exposure, volume of radiance. But to answer your question, yes. Progress is killing people at an alarming rate. Are you wearing undergarments?”
I sputtered. “Julian!”
Julian seemed pleased to have flustered me in turn. “I’d have thought you too cold to blush to that extent.”
“Yes.” I grit the word out. “I am wearing undergarments.”
“Take off as much as you can. I don’t like the way you’re not shivering.”
My trousers and blouse stuck to my body, and the small buttons were torture to my numb, waterlogged fingers. I made a small angry noise and considered setting my clothes on fire so I could die naked but free.
Julian batted my hands away and deftly loosened the buttons down my front. I expected a moment of tension, for him to blush the way he had when I’d asked him how he’d learned so much about Ezra’s magic. Instead, he seemed unfazed by the sight of me in my thin, wet undershirt. Eased by his nonchalance, I helped him pull my boots and my soaked trousers off. With dismay, I realized I’d lost my tool belt in the river. The fire’s heat licked at my bare skin where goose bumps made the hair on my legs stand straight up.
“Stay close to him,” he instructed. “I can’t have either of you freezing to death. We’ve got a long way to walk.”
