“It’s not rude if it’s true. I hope it’s not true.”
“I’d storm right out if you weren’t holding my trousers,” I said, flustered.
When she looked up to meet my gaze, her eyes sparkled with mirth. “It’s a clever way to hold your audience, is it not?”
Since we were having that kind of conversation, I huffed back onto the cushion on the floor and folded my arms tightly. “Why did you tell Henry he can’t play with Ezra?”
“He can’tplaywith Ezra because Ezra isn’t a little boy. He’s a busy apprentice healer who doesn’t need a child at his heels. Why do you care to know?”
My cheeks got hot. I wished I had long hair to cover them. “The way Henry said it … I thought—I thought it was for his safety.”
Ainsley snorted and shook out the trousers. “You’re imaginative for someone who wasn’t taught to read. Come and try these on.”
“I canread.I didn’t read frippery. That’s all.”
When I pulled the trousers on, I forgave Ainsley for everything she’d said. My legs were free. I shoved my feet back into my boots and gave a stumbling twirl.
Ainsley crossed her arms. “I can see how you nearly tumbled to your death.”
“I’ll have you know I’m quite graceful. Sometimes.”
Her laughter pulsed through me like the ringing of a bell, and I giggled in return, some of the lingering tightness in my chest softening. Every so often, Gertrude had made me laugh like that. More rarely, I’d made her laugh in return. I’d liked the sound.
Before long, Ainsley was helping me pull on the blouse fastened from the top half of my dress. “You’re sure you want the neck to stay high like this? It seems stifling.”
“Yes. It’s customary.” I retied my blue neck scarf.
“Customary,” she repeated with an eye-roll. “Then there you are. A properly mobile apprentice Conductor. Why do they send you off into the wilderness in such fussy dresses in the first place?” Before I could speak, she went on with a chuckle: “Let me guess—it’s customary.”
“The House contracts with a clothing mill nearby to provide uniforms for all the students. It’s a rite of passage, in a way, to get our assignments and have the opportunity to make alterations within reason. I wasn’t sure I wanted trousers, to be honest. I never wore them at the House. I didn’t know if they’d feel comfortable.”
To my surprise, Ainsley was listening closely, her brow knit in a small frown. “That sounds difficult.”
“Which part?”
She adjusted my scarf a little too firmly at my throat. “Not being an individual.”
I resisted the urge to bat her hands away.
Her words followed me all the way back to the Mission.
CHAPTER EIGHT
When I brought Julian his breakfast the next morning, he’d left his door open. I stepped into the doorway cautiously and saw him writing at his desk, dressed as impeccably as always. Feeling like a rumpled mess in contrast, I lingered for a moment, studying the curiosity that he was. With his brow furrowed in concentration and his hand scribbling furiously, he looked like a schoolboy.
“How early do you rise?” I abruptly asked, imagining that it must be well before dawn.
He startled, dropping his palm over the writing as if hiding a love note. “Excuse me?”
“You always look … so put together. No matter how early it is.”
For a moment, his mouth worked silently. I could recognize a lie in the making and couldn’t blame him. It had been improper of me to ask such a personal question. So it surprised me when he answered, “I don’t sleep particularly well. It’s easier to start my day early than try to achieve more rest.”
“These days have been tiring,” I admitted, offering a truth for a truth. “I’ve found myself falling asleep quickly.”
Julian watched me blankly. He’d been notorious for his intelligence at the House of Industry, but I was beginning to doubt that had resulted in any kind of camaraderie with his classmates.
“What are you working on?” I asked, genuinely surprised that anyone could be more awkward than I was.
