I don’t know what he’s doing. I don’t know what he’s hiding, but I know he’s good, and that’s enough. Isn't it?
I don’t need trust to want his hands on me. I don’t need answers to decide what I give. The rest—feelings, attachment—I can keep that out, separate.
But this part?
That’s mine.
My choice.
My boundary.
I open my mouth to protest, to correct?—
But Talen drops the silence shield just as a blur of blonde rounds the corner, heading straight for us.
Ezzy. Sobbing.
The dorm room’squiet and dark, except for the soft amber flicker of a candle on the desk. The music from the ball ended hours ago; all I hear now is the distant sound of water runningfrom the Citadel into the Veins, cutting out through the Realms beyond.
I’m on the bed, blanket tossed over my legs, dress wrinkled and half-slipped off one shoulder. I haven’t changed, haven’t moved much since we got back, and for once, I’m alone.
Ezzy and I talked for what felt like hours. I didn’t want to leave the ball, I wanted to keep talking to Talen, but she needed me. I couldn’t walk away from her. Not tonight, not after everything I’ve done.
Finn basically told her it’s not going to happen. Not now, not ever. The way she said it—flat, like she’d already run out of tears—made something crack in my chest. I was heartbroken for her.
Once she stopped crying, she said she’d head home for the weekend—see her sister, catch up with family.
Leave’s optional after Call Week; many of the cadets are taking it, but I’m surprised more aren’t. I thought about going home, but then I remembered there wasn't much I’d be going back for and whatever,whoever’sleft... I’m not ready to face. Not yet. I don’t want to go back until I have answers—until all of this means something.
My Threads are calm, quiet, but my heart’s still racing. Muscles pulled tight, like I never came down from the fight.
I should be making a new plan. Should be processing the bloodbath of the past week. What happened to Beth, what almost happened to me. But instead, I do what I’m best at, shove it all down and focus on something else. Anything else.
Because I don’t want to think anymore. I want to feel. Something warm. Something that’s mine.
Just enough to take the edge off, just enough to sleep.
I slide lower on the mattress, let my eyes fall shut, and exhale slow. My hand drifts down—fingers brushing along the slit of the dress, gathering the fabric and pulling it up, baring skin inch by inch.
The first touch is light, barely there, just enough to cut the air short in my throat.Seven months, god, seven months.My head tips back against the pillow, lips parting as I press deeper. The heat is immediate. Fierce. It doesn’t take much—just the right pressure, the right rhythm—and everything starts to melt. My jaw slackens, my legs part, and a hard thud slams behind my ribs, rising fast.
This is mine. No one else's. My hands. My pace. My release.
His mouth flashes through my mind, that kiss. And just as my hips roll up into it, just as that first sharp curl of pleasure starts to build?—
A knock.
Fuck. I freeze, air stalling in my chest, fingers still caught beneath the dress.
Another knock. Louder this time.
I grit my teeth, pull my hand away, and sit up, heart pounding for a completely different reason now. Not arousal, not release, just cold, crawling frustration.
“Are you serious?” I mutter, shoving the fabric back down. “Goddamn timing.” I don’t even look up from the bed. “Come in,” I call, assuming it’s Rowan coming to check on Ezzy.
The door creaks open, Talen steps through.
Shit.
