I don't want to talk about Talen with him, I want to tell him about the diary entry. About what happened to my dad—that he saw something during reassignment, something that made him run—and that’s why they took him. But not in the middle of a ball. Not with people hovering close enough to hear. Later.
Instead, I grab a plate. The food looks amazing—perfectly plated, overly golden—but the second it hits my tongue, it’s the same dry, chalky texture. Yum, birth control.
There's a nudge at my arm, Rowan elbows me and lifts his chin toward the centre of the courtyard. I follow his gaze to where Ezzy and Finn are dancing. Badly.
They're off-beat, arms too stiff, clearly trying not to step on each other. But at least they’re touching. Which is more than I expected from either of them. It’s awkward as fuck. It’s also kind of perfect.
My gaze drifts past them, and catches on Lucien. He’s standing at the edge of the crowd, half in shadow, glass of wine untouched in his hand. Watching me. I freeze. He doesn’t look away. Doesn’t blink. Just holds my gaze like he’s already decided something. My stomach knots, and I look away first.
I don’t know what he saw, or heard. Does he know what really happened with Beth? Does he think I killed her? I was about to. Maybe he’s looking for someone to blame?—
Beside me, Rowan exhales deep. “Today you scared me, Lyra,” he says, face tense. “This place is brutal… and Ezzy… she's all I have. I owe her—everything. Her family...” He shakes his head. Doesn’t finish. “Promise me something. If you ever have to choose between me and her, choose her.”
“Rowan—”
“No. I’m serious.” He looks at me full-on now. “This week was fucked. I’ve been thinking about it. And it’s not just a hypothetical. It’s a valid concern.”
I want to tell him he’s being dramatic. That I’d never let it come to that, but he’s not wrong. So I just nod. “I promise.”
A beat passes. The music shifts.
“Okay,” I say, shaking my head. “We’re at a ball, and this week’s been hell, so maybe let’snottalk about death and impossible choices right now. Especially not while Daniel’s eye-fucking you from across the room.”
Rowan doesn’t look right away. Just lifts his glass, real casual—too casual—and takes a sip like it’ll hide the grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.
I narrow my eyes. “Oh my god. It’sactuallygoing well.”
He shrugs, but his eyes give him away.
“Well then,” I say, nudging his arm. “Let’s go dance and make him jealous anyway.”
Rowan laughs. “I would, but I think someone else is waiting for you.”
He tips his chin behind me. I turn?—
Talen’s cutting straight through the courtyard towards me like the rest of the world doesn’t exist.
And it’s not the speed that guts me. It’s the look, I know that look, it's the same one he gave me after I interfered with Ezzy’s Demonstration—but colder. Deeper.
Shit, so much for wanting to avoid any drama tonight.
CHAPTER FORTY
Talen steps in front of me, close enough now that I can see the tight pull around his mouth, the muscle twitching in his throat. His eyes—stormy, unblinking—lock on to mine like he’s trying not toyell.
But whatever he’s about to say, he doesn’t get the chance.
“You two should go dance,” Rowan cuts in, grinning like an idiot. His voice is all sunshine and mischief, like he’s helping. “Wouldn’t want anyone thinking your relationship’s fake.”
“Rowan—oh my god,” I snap, shooting him a glare sharp enough to cut steel.
Talen doesn’t look at Rowan. Doesn’t even flinch. Just lifts one brow at me, a silentYou told him?
I don’t answer, mostly because I don’t have to. Talen’s gaze shifts—quick, clipped—toward the far end of the courtyard, where Professor Strannt is leaning against his cane, watching us with that same thoughtful, dissecting look he has when he calls someone down for a Demonstration.
Talen exhales hard through his nose, not quite a sigh—more like the sound someone makes right before they punch a wall.
“Fine,” he mutters, voice tight. “I need to talk to you anyway.”
