The silence after is suffocating. No one moves. No one speaks.
I drag in a breath, but it doesn’t do much. The weight’s still there. Every word I just dropped sitting between us like a loaded crossbow.
I turn to Finn first. “I’m sorry for snapping at you after the interrogation cell the other week. You were trying to be funny, and I made it seem like you were in the way.”
He shifts, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, well… I didn’t help by pushing. But for what it’s worth, I don’t hold it against you, especially now I understand what's going on between you and the Nightrose.”
The tension in my shoulders eases, just barely. “Thanks.” I smile at him before turning to Rowan. “You spent weeks helping me look for anything tied to Ashvale,” I say quietly. “I cut you off without explaining why. I just?—”
Rowan shifts his weight, arms crossed tight across his chest. Not defensive, just holding the space between us. “Yeah, look,” he sighs. “It would’ve helped if you told me. But I get it. Professor Strannt was on your back. I understand that. But next time? Just talk to me. Okay?”
I swallow hard. The words land lower than I expect, sharp in the chest. “I will.”
My throat tightens as I glance at Ezzy. She hasn’t said a word. Arms crossed. Eyes hard.Waiting.
“We need to talk about all of this. More.” Rowan glances between the four of us.
“Yeah,” I say. “I know.” My hands are cold. My jaw aches from holding it all in. “But we’ve got time.” I look at Ezzy again. “Can I—uh—talk to you for a second?Alone?”
Rowan and Finn share a look, then slip out, the door clicking shut behind them.
The tension that follows is uncomfortable, so I break it right away. “I’m sorry,” I start, voice rough. Too rough. I swallow. “Please, Ezzy. I need you to know that. Please forgive me.”
She doesn’t move. Arms still crossed, like the words bounce right off her.
“I don’t know if I can, Lyra.” Her voice is quiet and steady, worse than shouting. “The damage is done.” It lands. Low and heavy, right under my ribs.
“I didn't tell you because I didn't know how. I was worried you’d judge me; we come from such different worlds, believe such different things. But that isn't an excuse, I didn’t try to understand yours. I just—” I let out a long breath. “I was so caught up trying to be what I thought I needed to be that I stopped being honest. Even with you. You let me in, and I didn’t let you back. That’s on me.”
Her expression doesn’t shift. And that silence? It’s a blade pressed to my neck. My chest aches, not dramatic, just hollow, like I left something in her hands and she’s still deciding whether to drop it or not.
“Please, Ezzy.” My voice breaks before I can reel it back. “You’re the only proper girl friend I’ve ever had.”
There’s a long pause. Then she finally looks at me, and god, I almost wish she hadn’t. Because it’s not anger in her eyes. It’s hurt.
“I don’t know, Lyra...”
I knew it. Iknewit. But still, it punches harder than I expect.
“Okay, look.” I cut in fast before she can finish. “What about this, we start over. I’ll work on it. Earning your trust back, learning where you’re coming from. Not just expecting you to fit into my world, but actually,actually, trying to understand yours.” I pause. “And, and we just take it from there.”
Ezzy watches me. Long enough that my palms start to sweat again. Then, finally her shoulders drop, just slightly. “I think I can do that… and I mean youdidsave my life by interfering. Thank you.”
I let out a breath I hadn’t realised I’d been holding. My shoulders fall, jaw unclenches. Even my chest loosens, like it’s finally allowed to rise without scraping against bone. It’s not forgiveness. Not yet.But it’s something.
A small, startled smile tugs at the edge of my mouth. Not big.Ezzy catches it, and for the first time in what feels like weeks, she smiles back. Soft, a little sad, but real.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you too, ” she replies, then adds, “Oh, by the way… during the fight with Beth? I saw you call on fire.” A wider grin flashes across her face. “It was pretty badass. Didn’t know you could do that.”
My brows furrow. “I don’t think I did. Must’ve been Beth’s Threads. I don’t remember. Everything’s such a blur.”
“Oh, right, well, I was so stressed, I probably imagined it.”
A beat of silence.
“Ezzy…” I hesitate. “About Brian and the books, I’m sorry too.”
