This morning, I wouldn’t have even entertained the idea of negotiation, let alone enlistment. I don’t trust him. Not even close. Every word out of his mouth feels curated, calculated. That speech—about peace, shadows, about what Icouldbe—it wasn’t meant tomoveme, it was to manipulate me. He wants to shape me into something useful, something dangerous. A weapon forged from grief and guilt, pointed wherever the Citadel needs it most.
But then there’s this. My grip tightens around the journal as it rests heavy in my lap, a slow ache blooming in my chest. Inside, potentially, everything I’ve spent my life aching to know…
But who am I kidding? Let’s be honest, what choice do I actually have? It’s not about what I want. Or don’t want. I either agree... or get thrown to the dragons.
“One month?” I echo, jaw locked.
The room still reeks—mildew, cold, and quiet deception. But the journal in my hands is warm. Heavy. Real.
“Fine.” I force the word out, and the second it lands, my stomach twists.
CHAPTER FOUR
He smiles. It’s not kind. Not triumphant, it’s sharper—like he knew this was how it would end all along, like he’d just been waiting for me to catch up.God, what have I just agreed to...
“Good. I’m glad we’ve settled that.” He stands and crosses to the door. “Though of course,” he adds, glancing back with one hand on the handle, “you’ll still have to survive the month. No guarantees you won’t die during Demonstrations, at the hands of your peers.” His grin twists. “I’ve heard the cadets and officers aren’t particularly fond of Outerlanders around here. But I’ve seen how you handle threats and I’m sure most won’t be a problem for you.”
The door groans as he pulls it open, calling something over his shoulder to one of the officers outside. They respond with a nod and a quick gesture down the hall. Then he turns back to me.
“I’m Professor Merrin, by the way. High Chancellor here at the Citadel. And this,” he shifts, just enough for me to see the girl now standing behind him. “Is Cadet Ezrelia Caelwyn. A fellow second-year,” his gaze flicks to me, “and your new dorm mate.”
Ezrelia smiles, wide, bright, and a little nervous, like she can’t decide whether to curtsy or salute. White-blonde hair, almost as pale as her skin, bright blue eyes and dressed in a crisp black uniform that looks like it’s never seen dirt. Probably my age, but she reads younger. Innocent.
“Cadet Caelwyn’s previous dorm mate had an... well, let’s just say there was an accident during a Demonstration last semester,” he says mildly. “Which means a bed’s opened up. Luckily for you, she also happens to be one of our brightest students. No surprise, really, considering both her parents were research academics here before they retired. She’s hoping to follow in their footsteps, maybe even join our faculty one day. So any questions you may have, you’re in expert company.”
The blonde girl straightens at the compliment, hands smoothing down the front of her uniform and a flush creeps up her neck.
She wants to be part ofthis? Ofthem? God, give me a break. That’s not a dream—it’s a delusion. Guess some people really will drink the poison if you serve it in a gilded cup.
Merrin turns back to the door, then pauses and pivots toward the girl. The softness drains from his face; what’s left is precision, authority.
“Cadet Caelwyn,” he orders, “you will escort Cadet Bloom here to the Initiation Brief in a moment. You will also see to it that she catches up in class. As she is starting in second year she is already behind, and I won’t tolerate her falling further.” She freezes under the weight of it, then manages a nod, too fast, too eager. “She’ll be joining the Air Realm cohort with you. I expect her to be fully integrated by week’s end.”
“Yes, High Chancellor.” She swallows, the sparkly pin in her hair catching the light as she nods.
Merrin holds her there a beat longer, just long enough to make her flinch, then turns, red robes sweeping into thecorridor. The door clicks shut behind him, loud and final. Like the deal’s been made, the lock turned, and the next month of my life just got sealed in stone.
I let my shoulders drop, jaw unclenching as the quiet settles, for half a second.
Then—
“It’s so nice to meet you!” Ezrelia’s beams, hands clutched tight like she might combust from the sheer pressure of wanting to impress. “So is it true?... Are you really from the Outerlands?”
I open my mouth to answer, but the girl barrels on without hesitation.
“My friends and I used to sneak out there when we were seventeen. They always had the best parties. And the bestboys. If youknowwhat I mean.... It wasn’t even that hard to cross over, but I heard it’s, like, almost impossible for you guys to come this way, right? What was it like growing up there? Have you ever seen dragons? Oh! I heard this rumour once that if you were a bad kid in the Outerlands, they’d just leave you out on the street and a dragon would come eat you. I mean... I don’tbelieveit, obviously. But still. Does stuff like that actually happen?”
She pauses, just barely. Just long enough to gasp a breath, then:
“How’d you get that scar on your?—”
She’s not stopping.... God, this girl is going to be the death of me. It’s only been five minutes, and I’m already second guessing my recent life choices. Maybe Reassignment wouldn’t have been such a bad idea after all...
“Ezrelia, is it?” I cut in.
“Yes, but you can call me Ezzy!”
“Okay, listen... Ezzy, it’s lovely to meet you.” Her smile somehow gets even brighter. “But I’ve had a long day, and right now, I just need to survive the next month. So if you could hold off on the fun facts and dragon questions until I’ve had an hourwithout someone threatening me, or handing me emotional landmines disguised as leather-bound journals...” I pause. “...I’d really appreciate it.”
