“Next time you get to help,” Cassian corrects our beta, grabbing my hips and holding me to him tightly.
“Did Cassian tell you all the filthy things we want to do to you?” Simon asks, a mischievous glint in his hazel eyes.
“Not in detail,” I yawn, snuggling against the alpha beneath me.
“Well, come here then. I’ll whisper them all to you while I make you a mocha, tease you while you drink it, and then we can show you in the shower.”
My perfume bursts from me, and Cassian goes hard as stone behind his sweatpants.
“Devious beta,” I groan. “You’re going to make me late for Ian’s class.”
“He’ll know why you’re late. He’ll scent it on you immediately, no matter how well you wash. He’ll have to punish you for your tardiness. I’m sure I could give him a few ideas…”
I jump up from the sofa, Cassian chuckling as I scramble off of him.
Cassian gives me a light slap on my bare ass. “Ignore him and go get ready for class. I’ll take care of him.”
My eyes go wide, and I look from my grinning beta to my smirking alpha. “But I…” But I want towatch. Slick runs between my thighs at the thought of seeing them together.
Cassian arches an eyebrow. “You have a morning class, love. Best go get ready.”
I let out a growl of frustration and stomp up the stairs to my nest to shower, grumbling all the while as they laugh behind me. It’s a bright, joyous sound, and it sounds so perfectly like pack that I want to hold the memory in my heart forever.
I float through the day, feeling lighter than I have in weeks, but even the sweetest of mornings can’t hold reality at bay forever.
Finals are approaching, and the whole campus seems to hold its breath, as if waiting for another attack. There are fewer snowball fights on the quad, fewer students sledding down the hills on campus on trays stolen from the dining hall. Though campus is decked out for Yule, with pine garlands, sparkling lights and boughs of holly decorating every building, there’s little Yule cheer.
I find it impossible to summon any myself. My pack promises we’ll celebrate when I return to Fairhaven, all of us stubbornly ignoring the gruesome possibility that looms between us, that lurks behind every conversation: Rad could mate me over the holiday, stealing me away from them forever.
I hold them all a little closer that night and every night until the end of term, haunted by that thought. Whenever I’m not studying or training, I’m in their arms, begging for their sweet kisses. We have more dinners as a pack, and I cherish every one of them as though they’re slipping away from me.
It’s the Friday before finals when I stop in the infirmary after spending my afternoon with Dr. Spencer at my assistantship.
I find Doc in her office, and she jumps up from her desk the moment she sees me.
“Juniper! Good to see you. Are you well?”
Am I? In the whole of my life, I’ve never felt more loved and cherished. I’m surrounded by the most wonderful pack, yet I’m filled with dread at how easily it could all be taken away. It keeps me up at night and distracts me in my classes. It eats away with me, more and more with every day that passes, bringing us closer to Yule and my return home.
“I’m okay, but I was hoping I could talk to you about getting a heat suppressant spell. The strongest you have.”
Doc leans against the edge of her desk. “I’m happy to give you the spell, but you should know it might not work. You’re an especially potent omega, so you may only get a brief reprieve, if anything.”
“That might be enough,” I say quietly. “I’m due for my heat over the holiday… when Andrew Radcliffe will be visiting my family for Yule.”
The omega healer grimaces and lets out a frustrated sigh, knowing all too well what I’ve left unsaid. “I understand.”
“I’ve been training, and I believe I can defend myself against him—if I have my wits about me. If I can suppress my heat, or even delay it, it improves my chances against him.”
“I hate that you have to even consider such a thing. Of course I’ll give you the spell, but Juniper, promise me something? Promise me you’ll talk to Hawthorn. Let him know about your worries. Tell him everything. If he knows, he can help protect you.”
The other omega is right. I hadn’t considered confiding in my older brother. If I do go into heat over the Yule holiday, he could be the one person standing between me and Rad.
She gives me a bespelled heat suppressant shot in my upper arm, reminding me that there are no guarantees it will completely suppress my heat, but I need to exhaust my options for staying safe. If I avoid succumbing to the mental haze that always comes with my heat, I’ll be better able to protect myself.
And being able to protect myself may mean the difference between a life of dreams and a life of nightmares.
* * *
